The London streets are running red. . . with blood and velvet! A masked psychopath is roaming the city violently slaughtering every Santa-dressed person he can find. As the death toll rises, it's up to a Scotland Yard detective to solve the crimes and put a stop the murderous maniac.
Yikes. When I saw this referred to as 'sleasy, Z-grade slasher fare,' I was imagining something along the lines of Pieces in quality and enjoyment, as they're both brought by some of the same people. . . unfortunately, by quality, it was far, far below Pieces. Luckily, however, it was almost as fun and sleazy. While it is low quality, that fault can be forgiven a little bit due to the ridiculous production it went through (including at least three or four directors and multiple in-production rewrites). After two years of a disastrous filming, however, Don't Open 'Til Christmas was completed and released in all its nonsensical glory. As far as typical slasher stuff goes, it's all there: Good & violent deaths, sex, sleaze, blood (though horribly done), etc. It's a fine specimen in the art of trash film-making. Unfortunately, its entertainment value doesn't COMPLETELY make up for its horrible direction, brainless script, and awkward acting. Well, maybe it does. But, the faults still need to be addressed. The style obviously varies throughout the film since much of it was filmed by various directors at different times. The story, if there even is one beyond 'crazy man killing Santas,' tries for nothing new at all. The dialogue is horrible and unrealistic, made worse by a cast of seeming amateurs (though some veterans do shine a bit). In the end, however, it's not a film that needs to be or should be over-analyzed. It is what it is: A cheap, poorly made, sleazy B-slasher that was made simply to offend, shock, or titillate (depending on what kind of fan you are). If Pieces was up your alley and you're looking for some holiday cheer, give Don't Open 'Til Christmas a look. Just don't expect much and you'll do fine.
Obligatory Christmas-Horror Elements:
Final verdict: Averaging the entertainment with the low quality. . . 3.5/10. But, a high one.
-AP3-
Yikes. When I saw this referred to as 'sleasy, Z-grade slasher fare,' I was imagining something along the lines of Pieces in quality and enjoyment, as they're both brought by some of the same people. . . unfortunately, by quality, it was far, far below Pieces. Luckily, however, it was almost as fun and sleazy. While it is low quality, that fault can be forgiven a little bit due to the ridiculous production it went through (including at least three or four directors and multiple in-production rewrites). After two years of a disastrous filming, however, Don't Open 'Til Christmas was completed and released in all its nonsensical glory. As far as typical slasher stuff goes, it's all there: Good & violent deaths, sex, sleaze, blood (though horribly done), etc. It's a fine specimen in the art of trash film-making. Unfortunately, its entertainment value doesn't COMPLETELY make up for its horrible direction, brainless script, and awkward acting. Well, maybe it does. But, the faults still need to be addressed. The style obviously varies throughout the film since much of it was filmed by various directors at different times. The story, if there even is one beyond 'crazy man killing Santas,' tries for nothing new at all. The dialogue is horrible and unrealistic, made worse by a cast of seeming amateurs (though some veterans do shine a bit). In the end, however, it's not a film that needs to be or should be over-analyzed. It is what it is: A cheap, poorly made, sleazy B-slasher that was made simply to offend, shock, or titillate (depending on what kind of fan you are). If Pieces was up your alley and you're looking for some holiday cheer, give Don't Open 'Til Christmas a look. Just don't expect much and you'll do fine.
Obligatory Christmas-Horror Elements:
- Subgenre: Slasher
- Christmas Carols: There was a disappointing lack of Christmas music, surprisingly.
- Snow: Christmas in London? Yeah, bit of snow.
- Person in a Santa suit: If you're wearing one: RUN AWAY!
- Violence/Gore: There are some brutal deaths including stabbings, boiling flesh, and one that will make the boys squirm. *shudder* There's plenty of blood & gore, but it's not done well at all.
- Sex/Nudity: Dig British women? Well, this one's for you. Many a fair young lass bear it all here.
- Scares/Suspense: Suspense? None. But, there were a couple good jump scares here and there. All typical stuff, though.
- Mystery: Well, a mess of a script certainly can make for a great mystery. . . as it's really unclear what the hell is going on and for what reason most of the time.
- - -
Final verdict: Averaging the entertainment with the low quality. . . 3.5/10. But, a high one.
-AP3-