1/10
Sub-zero
16 September 2008
Let's take it in order:

THE SCRIPT: - Illogical, incoherent, confusing and confused. - Unprofessionally conceived and constructed. - Apocalyptically retarded

THE DIRECTION: - Slow, messy, chaotic, disordered. - Amateurish, didactic, explicit. - Doomsdayishly moronic.

THE ACTING: - There was none. The performers were simply reciting their lines.

THE WHOLE: - Permanently oscillating between lethally boring and killingly grotesque. - When Nick Cage comes for that tragic good-bye to his deaf-and-dumb Asian ad-hoc sweetheart, literally all the theater was guffawing in laughter.

THE SOLUTION: - Bring together all your noisiest and rudest buddies, buy many six-packs of beer, fill up the last row in the cinema, and make it rock!
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