Fourth rate movies all have the usual suspects. Implausible actor reactions, bad continuity, draggy editing, vacuous scripts and in the case of Anaconda 3, laughable CGI effects. Poor acting is often also a feature of such films but actors can be victims of lousy direction, editing and scripts that make them look like patchwork mannequins. There's plenty of that in Anaconda 3, but only Hasselhoff is genuinely ridiculous. His well publicized personal demons appear to have removed any likability he once evidenced. He now just makes you wince. The female lead had an impossible role so her sins must be forgiven till she has a chance to show herself in something better. As an example of her plight Rhys-Davies, a man who we know can act, became a screaming buffoon instead of the more subtle, well rounded character he expresses in other roles. Let's leave it at no one in this production was done any favor by the raw material they had to work with. Which brings us to the monster. The snake blended as smoothly to the real world as a tarantula on a wedding cake. A man in a rubber suit would have been more believable and a good deal more enjoyable. As in so many movies the monster attacked everyone with vigor except one certain cast member who was allowed to escape-twice-unharmed despite being trapped and at its mercy. Not that there isn't humor. For example all the characters fire machine guns at the snake except Hasselhoff, who inexplicably carries a bolt action rifle that would have seemed ancient in 1936. People continue to follow the snake with apparent confidence in its destruction despite dwindling numbers and no effect by their weapons. Hasselhoff, given a cell phone, drums his fingers on it like playing a Beethoven sonata, but the call goes through. There are plenty of laughs and they are the only reason to visit Anaconda 3.
Review of Anaconda 3: Offspring
