1/10
Wow, what a waste of time
26 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Good golly, this is one bad, bad movie. I must agree with one poster on the message boards: Sitting all the way through such a dumb movie leaves one feeling pretty stupid.

What's wrong with this movie? Well, when creating fiction, a good rule of thumb is to come up with some sympathetic characters -- at least the main character should be someone with whom the audience can empathize. The plot should also be plausible. Unfortunately, the main character in Death Sentence is a complete idiot, and the plot is so ridiculous I cannot even come up with an adequate metaphor.

If you are tempted to watch this movie, please allow me to save you some time with this short summary.

First, the main character, Nick Hume, (played by Kevin Bacon) almost runs out of gas with his oldest son in the car, and has to stop in a very bad part of town, an irresponsible oversight that directly leads to the death of his son. Then, rather than send his son's murderer to prison (where he could at least take some comfort in the fact that the murderer would spend the next five years or so being forcibly sodomized), he decides he's Charles Bronson and murders the guy instead.

Thus, Mr. Hume invites the wrath of the killer's brother and his drug-crazed gang of psychopaths, directly leading to the murder of his wife, and the critical injuring of his other son and himself -- because apparently the best thing to do when you know a gang is coming to kill you is to just stay home and wait it out. (Luckily, he and his son are only injured, because as lustful as this gang is for revenge, they only put one bullet in each family member, and don't bother to check if they are dead or not.) When he wakes up in the hospital, he does not cry for his dead wife or kick himself for being such reckless idiot. He spends a minute with his presumably dying son, then goes out the hospital window to finish what he started. Remarkably, the police do not think to look for him at his home, which is the first place he goes, and is also a crime scene. Neither do they try to call him on his mobile phone, which he is carrying, or look for his car, which he is driving.

Mr. Hume buys a bunch of guns, gives himself a very bad haircut for no apparent reason, and then sets about wasting the rest of the gang in a very graphic fashion, shooting like Jet Li -- pretty good for a stockbroker.

Critically, perhaps mortally, wounded, Mr. Hume goes home -- where the police finally figure out he might be -- sits down on his sofa and watches old home movies. The police tell him his son might pull through. The movie ends there, but we can assume in a final act of idiocy that Mr. Hume dies, thereby leaving his sole surviving son an orphan. Thanks, Dad.

In closing, I suggest that if you need to see a revenge movie, rent Death Wish instead.
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