Run a Crooked Mile (1969 TV Movie)
9/10
Great Plot, Great Stars, and a Lot of Fun
18 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I don't know why I am so enamored of this particular TV movie. I viewed it on broadcast TV when it first aired in 1969, and it has stayed with me even though I haven't seen it since. As you undoubtedly know, the basic plot involves one Richard Stuart (Louis Jordan), a London bachelor schoolteacher who witnesses a murder in a large deserted country mansion. When he takes the local constable there, the murder has naturally been covered up, with the caretaker scoffing at them. In attempting to investigate the murder, he is rendered unconscious, and awakens two years later in a Swiss hospital, but with a completely new identity. According to the hospital personnel, he is a rich polo-playing playboy, who had an accident while playing polo. However, the last thing he remembers is witnessing the murder in London two years earlier, in his real identity. Things get more complicated when his self-proclaimed wife, Elizabeth Sutton, played by a delicious looking Mary Tyler Moore shows up to see how he is recuperating from the polo accident. Richard is of course suspicious of her, thinking that she is part of the "plot". When he is released from the hospital, he realizes that he has indeed lost two years of his life from his previous identity, and that he has actually been living as the playboy for this period. I doubt highly that such a case of sustained amnesia and/or schizophrenia is medically possible, but who's counting? It's just a movie after all, and so what if it requires a little more than the usual suspension of disbelief?

It's interesting to think of the possibilities if this movie were to be remade currently. In the 1969 version, when Richard tries to passionately kiss his supposed wife Elizabeth as a "test", he is of course rebuffed. He naturally accepts this behavior as part of the plot against him, suggesting to Elizabeth that her payment for portraying his wife did not include having any intimate relations with him. Since their relationship was strained before the accident, she has indeed justifiably rebuffed him, and she attributes his bizarre behavior to the polo accident. But she slowly comes to believe his incredible tale of a murder plot, and together they try to put the pieces together while falling in love (again). If I were in charge of remaking this movie currently, I would downplay the part where the male character is rebuffed, and perhaps redo it so that there is an immediate attraction between them. Also, I would cast Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth as the leading characters. Or perhaps Ewan McGregor and Megan Fox. Or Hugh Jackman and Jennifer Biel. After all, the two roles call for an Englishman and an American woman. Thus, with any of the appealing twosomes suggested above, and a little creativity in re-writing their respective parts in getting to know each other, we could sit back and let the sparks fly where they may.

This was a Universal Studios British production, but there are so many clichés in the movie, it has Hollywood written all over it. And instead of Switzerland, I would place the locale in Nice or Monte Carlo. Much more romantic.

So it will indeed be a miracle if this is ever released on DVD, and a greater miracle if they ever do a remake. But hey, we can hope.
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