3/10
Five Tons to Tombstone
30 March 2008
Wow, this is not a very good movie. The story line is really lame. One character shows up in town after a bank holdup in which he was not involved - but one of the robbers said he was, so when he comes to town everyone is ready to hang him immediately based on the say-so of a robber who WAS there robbing the bank. Not very likely. And when Ike Garvey opens the strongboxes full of cash onto an uneven-surface rock, what was he thinking? I could just see the money falling off and all over the place. Worst of all perhaps, I had to feel sorry for the horses - 3/4 of the actors in this film were somewhere between chubby and downright obese. Ike Garvey (again), the main bad guy, was particularly huge - from the back he looked just like his horse. I think his gun belt was full of Tootsie Rolls where there normally would be bullets. Anyhow, I've actually seen worse Westerns, but offhand I can't think which one(s). This movie is really lukewarm; the only actor I liked at all was James Brown, who was the marshal in the movie Gun Street. He plays a pretty good 'perturbed by life' Western character. The rest of 'em can all go to Weight Watchers.
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