Review of White Cannibal Queen

This great world is full of mysteries… One of the biggest of all, however, is why the hell some horror movie buffs – myself included – are still showing respect & admiration for Jess Franco, even though he brought us nearly nothing but boring crap and senseless exploitation. Take this rubbish for example! "White Cannibal Queen" is a hopelessly incompetent and agonizing excuse for a motion picture, and Franco clearly just made it to quickly cash in on the huge success his fellow Euro-cult directors were having with movies like "Cannibal Holocaust", "Mountain of the Cannibal God" and "Jungle Holocaust". But those were captivating and eventful films, whereas Franco's movie is extremely dull and stupid from start to finish. Dull because there's almost no storyline and not even a remotely interesting character drawing and stupid because the sequences involving cannibalism and/or savage tribes are hilarious instead of grueling! The supposedly relentless cannibals hop around with painted faces that make them look like clowns and most of them don't even look like South American natives. They're white! Franco's cannibals are the least menacing ones I've ever seen and the lack of budget & inspiration even prevents them from eating many people. Whenever the cannibals attack someone, the screen swifts into a slow-motion compilation of dark and blurry images and it's nearly impossible to make out what's happening. It looks as if the same pieces of flesh are repeatedly ripped from a female's stomach, and this goes on for entire minutes! The plot is a giant rip-off as well, as you've seen it all before … and better. An adventurous young couple and their 8-year-old daughter travel down the Amazonian river when they get attacked by a tribe of funnily face-painted savages. The wife gets eaten and the young girl abducted, but the father (Fulci regular Al Cliver) manages to escape with only the loss of one arm. Years of intense psychiatric help later, he mobilizes an expedition team and re-enters the jungle to rescue his daughter. The girl turned into an incredible hot teenager and – to get things even more complicated – she's considered a sacred goddess by the cannibal tribe, so it won't be easy to get her out of the jungle. Does she even want to get out? "White Cannibal Queen" is slow-paced, dull and poorly made. The acting performances are lousy and the use of music is often completely inappropriate. There's too little gore and sleaze, so even the most tolerant Franco fans are likely to consider this as one of his lousiest accomplishments. Avoid "White Cannibal Queen" at all costs and re-watch "Cannibal Holocaust" for the umpteenth time.