Humphrey Bogart starred in SWING YOUR LADY. Clark Gable starred in PARNELL. And, John Wayne starred in THE CONQUERER. All three films have obtained almost mythical status as absolutely wretched films that these top stars were justly ashamed of making. Whenever I have read books about bad films, they are almost certain to mention these three films. Then how is it that ONCE UPON A TIME didn't get mentioned?! This has to be one of the schmaltziest, sappiest and dumbest films I have seen in some time--and it stars Cary Grant during the height of his career. My assumption is that the only reason this film somehow slipped through the cracks was because by 2007, the movie has almost been completely forgotten and is practically never shown on TV and hasn't been available on tape or DVD until very recently. However, as Turner Classic Movies just recently obtained the rights to show classic films from Columbia Pictures, this turkey is now available for free (this is the ONLY way I'd see this one) and is a must-see for those who love seeing famous stars in wretched films.
Now technically, the film isn't that bad, as it has a competent cast and all. But the problem is a premise that is so stupid and so saccharine that you almost need to see it to believe it! The plot, believe it or not, is about a dancing caterpillar that belongs to a cute kid who looks quite a bit like the kid who played Larry Mondello on the LEAVE IT TO BEAVER television series. When Broadway producer Grant discovers the kid and his dancing bug, he realizes this might be a chance to dig himself out of a huge financial hole. All he needs to do is convince the kid and his overprotective sister that he really cares about the kid and is looking after his best interests--while he's really just planning on making a fast buck. The "big twist" that brings everything to a climax and melts cold Cary's heart is when the caterpillar is lost and the boy becomes heartbroken. But, in the end, it turns out that Curly the caterpillar didn't vanish--he simply turned into a butterfly. What an amazing "twist"--a caterpillar turning into a butterfly!! And, to make it worse, everyone acts as if this is somehow amazing and everyone lives happily ever after!!!! What's so amazing about this? Had the caterpillar turned into a cow or done brain surgery, then THAT would have been amazing.
Even as kids' fare, this is a terrible film. To sum it up in the word used by my students, the film is "craptastic"!! Cary should have been truly ashamed of himself. Could Roy Cohn (the head of Columbia Studios) have forced him to make this movie through blackmail? This is the only rational explanation for Grant in this stinkeroo.
Now technically, the film isn't that bad, as it has a competent cast and all. But the problem is a premise that is so stupid and so saccharine that you almost need to see it to believe it! The plot, believe it or not, is about a dancing caterpillar that belongs to a cute kid who looks quite a bit like the kid who played Larry Mondello on the LEAVE IT TO BEAVER television series. When Broadway producer Grant discovers the kid and his dancing bug, he realizes this might be a chance to dig himself out of a huge financial hole. All he needs to do is convince the kid and his overprotective sister that he really cares about the kid and is looking after his best interests--while he's really just planning on making a fast buck. The "big twist" that brings everything to a climax and melts cold Cary's heart is when the caterpillar is lost and the boy becomes heartbroken. But, in the end, it turns out that Curly the caterpillar didn't vanish--he simply turned into a butterfly. What an amazing "twist"--a caterpillar turning into a butterfly!! And, to make it worse, everyone acts as if this is somehow amazing and everyone lives happily ever after!!!! What's so amazing about this? Had the caterpillar turned into a cow or done brain surgery, then THAT would have been amazing.
Even as kids' fare, this is a terrible film. To sum it up in the word used by my students, the film is "craptastic"!! Cary should have been truly ashamed of himself. Could Roy Cohn (the head of Columbia Studios) have forced him to make this movie through blackmail? This is the only rational explanation for Grant in this stinkeroo.