3/10
one-track movie
29 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
"So this hunchback marries a supermodel..." Beyond how the valorized title family ever came together this movie has beaucoup des problems.

My sister and I were discussing this movie and it's sequel a few years back. Thinking I was making a non-controversial remark, I said the second movie was obviously better. She yelped "NO WAY! The first one was way better." I thought she must be recalling it wrong, or maybe I was. It's taken me a while, but I finally rewatched this last night.

And... I was right. It's exactly the way I remember it, and I've never viewed it a 2nd time in the twenty years that passed, since it was released in '86. It is precisely as deliberate, plodding, overlong, tiresome, repetitive, obvious... as I recall.

Since a laugh might disrupt the sermon, there isn't an ounce of humor in it. And for a movie that has no developments in its 2nd act, Jean D.F. is easily half an hour too long. It just sits there, and viewers are asked to do nothing beyond identifying the virtuous and villainous within a minute of their appearance. Then the pattern begins; each new scene again affirms that Jean, and the 2 genetically-blessed females in his household, are virtuous, and that the ugly or old Soubeyrans are treacherous dogs. This movie has NO dramatic arc and no payoff. It's a completely non-rich, non-nourishing viewing experience. Oh? The villagers don't reach out to the new family? Well neither do we see Jean & co. make any effort to connect to the community in the 3 years (!) they're there, unless the community comes to their farm offering gifts. Without Ugolin they'd be monks. Mrs. Jean and Manon have no emotional life whatsoever in this. The part of Mrs. Jean is barely written. Manon is a taciturn, blank-faced little robot. They're both infinitely less interesting or likable than Ugolin, even with his faults.

The height of absurdity is reached when Jean & co arrive at the farm; he plays the theme music on his harmonica and Mrs. Jean chimes in (a la Snow White) with some tra-la-las. Jean embraces and caresses Mrs. Jean, framed perfectly by a rustic window. Guh!, it's like porn for women. The only way to squeeze more pastiche into the frame is if a bird landed on her finger, and began to tweet along. It's a powerfully unsubtle image that will probably never be matched for sheer corniness.

The sequel Manon of the Spring is amazing, supplying all the development and emotion that this never gets around to; sorrow, pity, pathos, humor, rueful ironies, and of course that devastating ending. The fates visited upon Ugolin and Soubeyran are truly terrible. Plus, it actually has pacing! This is a tedious obstacle to endure on the way to the superior sequel.
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