5/10
Some Excellent Build-Up, But A Hollow Candy Center
23 March 2007
A nurse and her patient, a professor and his nymphomaniac student, Meat Loaf, Billy Zane and a showdown at the Big Cock Inn. Just another day in the lives of our hapless heroes.

I like films and stories that have multiple story lines that converge into one connected plot. Tarantino does this well. I myself wrote a novel with four interwoven plots. "Anna Karenina" did this very well. This film did not pull off the magic as well as we could have hoped.

A professor leaves home when he finds his wife has a lesbian lover and along the way picks up a sexy escort (played by the ravishing Lacey Chabert). But this plot is full of such annoyances -- every time something cool is about to happen, it is stopped.

A nurse takes her patient away and kidnaps a girl to raise money. She even involves Meat Loaf (who, like his character in "Pelts", likes to kill raccoons). This has some potential, but is plagued by the fact it just doesn't make much sense. A nurse kidnapping someone? I guess, but it seems extreme.

The worst part is that the best character is the priest played by Billy Zane and Zane only shows up for a brief time (delivering some great lines). Had he appeared more often, the film would have been significantly improved. But we are left wanting.

And that's what it really came down to: a teaser with no satisfaction. Not enough Zane, not enough sex (especially with as much as they hint at) and a plot that ultimately seems more forced than fluid. I enjoyed the movie, but it was nothing special and certainly doesn't warrant a second viewing on my part. Maybe I missed something deeper, but I really doubt it.
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