Review of The Wild

The Wild (2006)
1/10
Unfunniest Comedy Ever!
24 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
There is some debate about "Madagascar" having plagiarized this movie. I don't know if that is true or not, but it really doesn't matter. If they did, sincerely, I hope they steal more material from other studios, because "Madagascar" is an amazingly funny movie. My mother, that doesn't like animated movies, loved that one! No one stays more than a few seconds without laughing while watching "Madagascar", even on the more serious parts! Oh, for sure, this IS a comment about "The Wild", but it is very important to realize that the same basic idea, runaway animals from a zoo park, can become a wonderful movie or a complete disaster! Straight to the point, here is what you will (or would) get in "The Wild":

1) The story is boring: some people claimed that in "Madagascar" there was no reason for the animals to run away. If that's true or not, is really up to each one to decide (as a wildlife veterinary, I know most non-domestic animals do have a "wild instinct" built-in and do resent confinement, even if born in a cage and never knowing what it is to be free). In "The Wild", there was an explicit reason... Do you know that saying about never making a movie with animals and children? Well, that fits perfectly for "The Wild", for it has a character that is both an animal AND a child! At some points, I really wished the baby lion dead (oh no, I never worried, I knew it was a Disney Corp. story, he would never die). Later in the movie, the animals get involved in another plot that has absolutely nothing to do either with their escape or with being in the "wild".

2) It's a musical: while in "Madagascar" there is a reason for the animals to be singing, there is absolutely no one in "The Wild". They sing because it's a Disney Corp. movie, period. I don't care if the songs are original, what really matter is that they are boring! If a movie is a musical, the songs must be really good. They were worst than the score of "Anastasia" (you know, songs thrown in just to extend the length of the weak plot and to cover bad lines).

3) The characters have no charisma: in "Madagascar", the animals cared about one another, for they were friends. In "The Wild", they barely knew each other's names. Somehow, the writers thought the more animals they put in, the better. Well, all those animals are flat (they couldn't be flatter if they were made in 2D...)

4) The voice casting stinks: the voices simply don't match the characters' looks or personalities! For example, the little squirrel's voice is stronger than the lion's! Besides, the baby lion complaining got on my nerves, but that's personal, you may ignore this... Perhaps...

5) The animals stole a nuclear powered boat: that's the only explanation I could find for a tugboat to be able to go to Africa and then come back without refuelling...

6) The direction is reckless and mindless: in the first, say, five or ten minutes, we get a thousand animals running aimlessly, screaming nonsenses, doing meaningless things and finally playing a game in a really stupid way. Well, the rest of the movie is just the same, running for nothing, screaming for nothing, doing dumb things for nothing. I blame the direction. Too many (useless) things happening at the same time, at the wrong moments and for the wrong reasons (like using a small snake to lift something that weights a hundred pounds in real life, as if they used to do that all the time).

7) It's NOT funny (plus, the sound effects stink): it has the pace of a drama, a boring and meaningless drama, but it is made like a comedy. You "know" that because they filled "The Wild" with stupid boing-zip-plock canned sounds of old low-budget TV cartoons. They play them at the most inconvenient moments, like saying "please, laugh, that was a funny joke!" Well, to begin with, there are no jokes, just a few puns. Second, using those old SFX only make them embarrassing. The movie is so pathetic that they tried to make fun with a dung-beetle (not a smart-line beetle like in "Ice Age 2", but a dumb one to "laugh at it, not with it").

There are many other mistakes in this movie, which completely obfuscate any good thing it may have. "The Wild" is a movie aiming for children (or so it seems), but it only manages to be "childish". If you plan on watching it, make sure to have something else to watch afterwards, to wash it from your memory quickly...
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