1/10
Oh My GOD - this was awful.
15 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I LOVE Diane Keaton - Baby Boom is one of my favorite movies of all time. Something's Gotta Give is so great, I've seen it twice. That's what I thought I was plunking down my $10.50 for when I went to see this horror of a film.

I don't know who to blame more, the writers (Karen Leigh Hopkins & Jessie Nelson) or the director, Michael Lehmann. The actors are pretty blameless here in that they have proved themselves in other films and are basically following the vision of the director and saying the words of the writers. The script is repetitious and all over the place. Mom says the same thing over and over again in many scenes, as do the daughters.

I only laughed twice in the entire film. Which is crazy considering that I am usually a hyena at these movies. One laugh was at ONE of her physical comedy moves (which I usually love) and I can't even remember where the other laugh came from.

First of all, it is filled with illogic. People do and say things that make no sense. There is even a scene in which Mandy pushes Diane Keaton out her back door, which just happens to be wide open. Who leaves a back door WIDE OPEN? I can understand unlocked if you are in a ridiculously safe neighborhood - but, huh??? She takes so long to answer the door any self-respecting guy (or girl) would have gone home, cooked dinner for himself and eaten it during that time span.

I LOVE sex talk, I write about sex talk, my films are sexy, but what the hell was the deal with these women just bursting out in "orgasm chat" any old time? And with your damn mother? I don't think so. Even if she was hip. Which Diane Keaton was not supposed to be in this film.

And speaking of sex ... that's the kind of sex you see on AdultFriendFinders? People making out, professionally lit & shot?

Um, the dresses? Didn't they have a costume designer? We all know D has her own campy style, but someone should have stopped her. Those dresses just look plain bad on her. She's a great looking woman with a slim, fashion-friendly body and yet, she looked like a fool in those crinoline-crazed shirtwaists that spun out so wide she looked like a whirling dervish. She would have been better off in a tux.

And then she forces that ugly polka dot dress on her daughter. And, it turns out, the guy LOVES polka dots. What kinda guy loves polka dots? Is it a fetish or something?

The hyperactive kid is obnoxious as hell and there's the one scene where he tells the stupid bus driver joke to Diane, who listens very carefully and plays along as he tells the same joke over and over. Then, moments later, when the daughter arrives he yells out something like, "I like her. She's the only one who listens to my jokes!"

Oh, and the tasteless scene with the senior citizens in front of whom the musician boyfriend chooses to spout the obligatory "you complete me" speech. In the middle of it, one senior lady says "Can you hurry up, I have to go to the bathroom." Um, why doesn't she just go to the bathroom?

And the two senior ladies playing tonsil hockey was unfortunate and out of place. The gag comes out of left field and makes that whole thing seem totally gross, which is a disservice to all the older lesbian couples in the world. The audience just groaned. Not something you hope to hear in the middle of a love scene.

And this was really weird, at some point she picks up a photo of herself holding her daughter as a baby. That's the SAME PHOTO used so importantly in The Family Stone (another Keaton film that's REALLY good). What's up with that? Are they that cheap?

But the worse crime of all is the director Lehmann's handling of Keaton's performance. She is a wonderful dramatic and comedic actress, but this was like putting her into overdrive. It was like somebody doing an overdone impression of Diane Keaton in a satirical comedy sketch. It's a damn shame to take an actor's natural comedic talents and force her to imitate herself.

I felt similarly of Meg Ryan (who was amazing in Jane Campion's "In the Cut") in her last couple of films with Nora Ephron. These directors fall in love with these actor's eccentricities (as we all do) and instead of letting them just happen, which makes it so charming, they direct the actors into doing these charming things, bigger and bigger, more and more until they lose their charm completely.

Diane, please go back to Nancy Meyers who wrote and directed Baby Boom & Something's Gotta Give. She's got your number and the comedic chops to pull it all off.

Do yourself a favor, don't go see this movie. Why? Because I said so.
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