Review of The Cavern

The Cavern (III) (2005)
2/10
So bad it was hilarious
9 January 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I haven't laughed this much in a long time - or seen a film so ineptly made! Talk about so bad it made me laugh!

Firstly, I estimate that for about 40 percent of the film's length, I couldn't tell what was happening, or indeed even what I was seeing. I can only describe the camera work as frenetic meets LSD. There are whole segments, minutes long, where all you can see are blurred flashes and fragments of cave wall, people and various other unidentifiable stuff. I spent half the film asking my teenage daughters what was happening, but they couldn't follow it any better than me.

Then there are the "black" moments, when in an effort to scare us (woooooooo) everyone's lights go out and the screen turns pitch black - and I don't just mean for a few seconds. I think the longest lasted almost two minutes. I guess blank film is one way to keep costs down...

I suspect the "director" had recently read a book on all the "must-do's" to make a scary movie, and decided to throw them all in - about 20 times each.

There are three good things about this film: 1/ It's short at 90 minutes (though still an hour and a half too long!) 2/ All the characters die (after all, it's impossible to care about any of them). 3/ There was one genuinely good scene - when the group are looking up the shaft they came down, after discovering their rope fallen to the bottom (saw THAT coming), a large boulder is pushed across the opening, sealing them in. I WASN'T expecting that, and it was genuinely chilling.

And what's with the early campfire scenes with the shot, after shot, after shot panning from behind the camp lights. I swear the director used almost the same shot about 20 times in 5 minutes.

And I'm positive that after the first kill, the EXACT same footage of blood on the cave floor is used twice in about 90 seconds.

All in all, a CRAP piece of film making. I'll watch almost anything, but this is close to where I'd draw the line.
4 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed