The Cavern (III) (2005)
2/10
Bad Cave
26 November 2006
The Cavern: 2 out of 10: Blair Witch meets The Cave and gives me a headache.

I have something to ask all film schools, could you please teach future directors how to hold a camera steady. Flailing the camera around like Aunt Betty with 12 drinks is headache inducing.

Also film is primarily a visual medium directors may want to point their camera's in the general direction of the action. Film also requires light to work. Perhaps a light source should be employed so one can see the action on the screen. I know it is a cave movie but there is absolutely nothing frightening about watching pitch blackness for minutes at a time.

For that matter showing the film upside down doesn't indicate confusion on screen it indicates confusion in the editing booth.

A last note to the director I'm sure there was a good reason to have a horribly fake CGI campfire. I honestly can't for the life of me think of one.

Now on to the screenwriter. Try to make at least one character likable. I'd prefer two or more but one decent person I can root for or care about might help. Also if you are going to have flashbacks make them relevant to the story.

If you are going to have a surprise ending it is probably best if it doesn't contradict every single thing that comes before it. And try adding some fancy spelunking terms to a cave movie. You might have wanted to start with spelunking.

The Cavern is a pretty bad film, poorly shot with a confusing, improbable and anticlimactic ending.
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