Movie Summary: Full frontals (female, of course) for no reason other than just because, and martial arts. EVERYONE knows martial arts. Even europeans from the 18th century! Kick it with my ninjas!
And now, down to the nitty gritty:
Plot - There is one there somewhere, but the makers obviously had better things to do than follow it. More boobs, they said. More pointless fight scenes. More shots of that crazy peasant girl with tangled hair who shows up every now and then for a close-up to laugh like a maniac. And more lovelorn looks between whats-his-name and whats-her-face. Why? For no reason! I yawned a lot.
Cinematography - Very nice. It's always like that, isn't it, that when you see a movie that has absolutely stunning visuals, the rest of it is just pure manure. Costuming and the rest of the setting were also quite nice.
Score - Absolutely beautiful. A keeper.
Actors - Let's not go there... The male lead annoyed me to no end. He was so enamored with himself that I'm surprised he even noticed anyone else. He came across like a smug middle aged playboy who hasn't yet grasped the fact that while he was hot way back in the 70's, it was a long time ago. Now he just embarrasses his wife at parties. Giggidy giggidy giggidy! Even if I couldn't recognize any of the supporting actors, I can tell there were real actors there somewhere. I can always tell someone is a trained, experienced actor when he/she doesn't make me wish someone would kill him/her.
I can't say anything about how the director handled his job, because the rest of the film was so bad it distracted me.
Most disgusting moment: The rape scene. I just wanted to grab the person responsible by the neck and shake them. Why was this scene in the movie? It was irrelevant, to say the least. And made me want to take a shower.
Most irritating moment: The brothel scene. As a female viewer I found it unnecessary (see above), and demeaning. I'm so sick and tired of male fantasies I could scream.
Most disappointing moment: When the 'beast' (whatever it was) was shown completely. It was silly. And it was never explained just what exactly it was. Except that, apparently, it was made of wicker and flesh and doodled on a napkin in a café by H.R. Giger and H.P. Lovecraft. While it might have looked kind of cool as a creature, it felt very out of place in the movie. Haven't been this disappointed in a creature since I saw the Village.
Most rewarding moment: The end credits.
Hated it.
And now, down to the nitty gritty:
Plot - There is one there somewhere, but the makers obviously had better things to do than follow it. More boobs, they said. More pointless fight scenes. More shots of that crazy peasant girl with tangled hair who shows up every now and then for a close-up to laugh like a maniac. And more lovelorn looks between whats-his-name and whats-her-face. Why? For no reason! I yawned a lot.
Cinematography - Very nice. It's always like that, isn't it, that when you see a movie that has absolutely stunning visuals, the rest of it is just pure manure. Costuming and the rest of the setting were also quite nice.
Score - Absolutely beautiful. A keeper.
Actors - Let's not go there... The male lead annoyed me to no end. He was so enamored with himself that I'm surprised he even noticed anyone else. He came across like a smug middle aged playboy who hasn't yet grasped the fact that while he was hot way back in the 70's, it was a long time ago. Now he just embarrasses his wife at parties. Giggidy giggidy giggidy! Even if I couldn't recognize any of the supporting actors, I can tell there were real actors there somewhere. I can always tell someone is a trained, experienced actor when he/she doesn't make me wish someone would kill him/her.
I can't say anything about how the director handled his job, because the rest of the film was so bad it distracted me.
Most disgusting moment: The rape scene. I just wanted to grab the person responsible by the neck and shake them. Why was this scene in the movie? It was irrelevant, to say the least. And made me want to take a shower.
Most irritating moment: The brothel scene. As a female viewer I found it unnecessary (see above), and demeaning. I'm so sick and tired of male fantasies I could scream.
Most disappointing moment: When the 'beast' (whatever it was) was shown completely. It was silly. And it was never explained just what exactly it was. Except that, apparently, it was made of wicker and flesh and doodled on a napkin in a café by H.R. Giger and H.P. Lovecraft. While it might have looked kind of cool as a creature, it felt very out of place in the movie. Haven't been this disappointed in a creature since I saw the Village.
Most rewarding moment: The end credits.
Hated it.