Rottweiler (2004)
1/10
...what just happened?
15 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I have seen this movie twice on the Sci-Fi Channel (meaning I didn't have to deal with the nudity bits, thank goodness), and I STILL can't make heads or tails of it. While some B-movies are actually entertaining in their lack of coherent plot, this one drags 'pointlessness' down into the realm of painful.

The director attempts to try a sort of mixed-up flow of time in order to save the climax of the plot for the end of the movie (as it really happens in the beginning of the story)...but fails miserably. All the jumping around from beginning of story to the present time is done in a very choppy fashion, and the climax of the movie? I still don't really understand what it is--the main character, Dante, is looking for his girlfriend Ula, beats up a Rottweiler, gets chased around by the newly-enhanced now-cybernetic Rottweiler, gets raped, and eventually remembers that Ula is dead and kills the Rottweiler? It sounds like a relatively straight-forward, simple plot, your average B-movie, right? Well, like I said, it's done in the most painful way possible to the point where I have no idea what the climax of the movie is supposed to be. Maybe there is no point, I don't know any more.

I'll admit that I'm not the best at critiquing directing, but even I can see that there really was no attempt to make a passable movie here. Badly-framed shots, glaring light even in night scenes and interiors that should be rather dim...the movie is confusing from even a visual standpoint. Even the title character, the cyborg Rottweiler, seems to be three different dogs--the live animal, the stiff, unrealistic puppet, and the relatively smooth-textured CGI version. Most movies will pick just one or two of those to use for their monsters and stick with it, but this one has all three and they each look different.

So in conclusion, even if you like B-movies you'll probably want to avoid this one. Each time I've seen it on the Sci-Fi Channel, it makes me sad that I just wasted hours of my time with it...even when I just had it on for background noise.
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