Inseminoid (1981)
5/10
Cheap, nasty, but heck you have no idea what your in for… well kind of!
3 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
On a far off planet a team of space explorers open an underground carven. First off two explores who enter the cave first, were effected by some unknown origin. One dies and the other goes crazy, and then is killed by one of his fellow workers. As they struggle to work out what's going on, a female team member is kidnapped and raped by an alien, who impregnates her with its alien spawn. When she comes around and finds she is back in the base, she suddenly turns on her team, by transforming into a unnaturally strong psychopathic being that lusts for their blood.

What an inspiring viewing! Ah, actually I'm thinking of something else. "Inseminoid" is my first taste of a Norman. J Warren exploitation film, and I thought it was modest attempt. I heard and read some decent things on this British director's other films such as "Satan's Salve" and "Prey", but honestly this one didn't really blow me away. The version I got is the uncut, uncensored take and these gory moments is what made the film for me. Gee, I can just imagine how tame and weak the cut version must feel, because it relies on its unpleasant and shocking effects to entertained, because the story is… well been done before, but better and the acting is reasonably lifeless in giving dud performances. Most of them came across as dead as wood. Though, except for Judy Geeson memorable performance as Sandy, the real victim of all of this. And that weak script is filled leaden dialogue to match that of the dire acting. It's not that I hate it, but from a couple of scenes I saw on the making-of featurette, Norman. J Warren sounds like a pretty interesting fella and who has a good sense of humour, but that didn't entirely eventuate into this film for me. It just felt rather stale, with its stodgy pace and I was waiting for some humour to break up some dry moments, but it just didn't come.

But hey, what am I to expect when really this is low-budget rip-off of Alien, which its main focus is to show us pretty woman and many graphic, violent scenes, that make you feel uncomfortable because they're plain unpleasant. It just makes you shudder, because there's a over abundance of it and sometimes it's not executed in a inventively swift manner, but actually come across as… dumb. But there are some well staged moments with a certain profound vibe, the main points have to go to the brutal attack in the caves, the eerie as hell alien rape and going into labour scenes. They were just damn right unnerving, and that was helped a lot by the chilling synthesisers that overwhelmed those moments. They really did kick in! But everything else is rather tensionless and lacked intensity, with most of the action organised is an unbelievable manner. Merely it's the gore in those scenes that provide the thrills. Don't go in hoping for a whole lot of bloody terror from our alien guest, because there isn't much. You don't really get to see the big fella clearly, but though the offspring get a bit of screen time towards the end. It's Sandy and her growing hunger who causes the real devastation! Speaking of the alien/s, there designs look no less but peculiar. What stood was their ugly big heads and the massive eyes. The father alien somewhat reminded me of a caterpillar! I guess that's the budget for you. Another key factor was that I didn't get any real sense of atmosphere, sure there's a couple of scenes that are risible, but for me it wasn't sustained and there was no real feel of dread, or panic.

The plot, screenplay had plenty moments that reminded me of ala "Alien", but that's far from my concerned because is basically filled obvious clichés and a convoluted narrative. Not much is explained on, and if so it's confusing tell what's happening and the characters seem to come and go with little purpose. Sometimes it's just cringe worthy with some stupid actions and dialogue occurring in some ridiculous scenarios. At times it ain't easy to watch! That really goes to that laughably goofy ending. These foolish characters are plain boring, with nothing to like about them. It just got a lot better when they started to dwindle, as I didn't have to listen to these obnoxious people. Look at the names of the cast, who mostly are British and you'll be expecting more than what you got here. Robin Clarke, Jennifer Ashley, Stephanie Beacham, Steven Grives, Victoria Tennant, Barry Houghton and Judy Geeson. Out of those only one stood out, that was Geeson, who gave it her all. Screaming those lungs out and getting up to grisly mischief. While the rest were less animated and paper thin. But what wasn't paper thin was the robust soundtrack, which was filled with 80-style synthesisers that really overpowered some sequences and weren't bad to listen either. Camera-work was steadily achieved with some nice tight nit angles and shots, but too it would be all over the place. Overall stolidly done, especially the lighting composition amongst the caves with it generating a neat hyper colour scheme. The production design was ho hum, bits of it worked but most of it came across as cheap and rather dated. But that's its charm, you could say?

Reading what people have commented on it, I can see why they frown upon it, but I don't share that same thought. Okay yeah, I'll admit it's bad. I found it dull and repetitive number of times, but really something about it stops me from trashing it. Maybe I'm not right in the head? But I did see it no more as a gory, cheesy throwback, with a couple decent stuff in the mix. This experience won't stop from trying to check out more of Warren's work, it actually has enhanced it!
6 out of 12 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed