3/10
Children of the CORNY
22 January 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was a real let down. It started off creepy enough with the slashing of some elderly throats and some mystical choking. I liked the part with Sarah (the young girl) in the beginning and her nightmares but then it went downhill, and then some. The movie lacked an explanation for anything that happened, and most of the events seemed to jump out of nowhere. The whole "The one who walks behind the rows" thing was an attempt to have some type of mystery and intrigue but in the end we find that it really makes no sense at all when some random monster just appears from no where, burrowing underneath the soil… yeah that makes lots of sense? The worst part about this movie it that it really made no sense at all. It never explained anything that happened, like why Job and Sarah seemed to be immune to the thrall of the cult that Isaac so easily asserts upon the other children in the town. Also, why the town so swiftly became a mysterious and "hidden" down that yielded power so easily, such as from the old man at the gas station, in only a few days. The adults die and suddenly the town's off the maps and the sky seems to yield to the children's will, it all happens too fast and with no explanation as to how Isaac and Malachai attain their god-like status.

This movie seems to be quite the cult classic, and must have done very well judging by the parade of sequels that followed in its outdated footsteps. It's really too bad, perhaps if this movie had never been created all the other terrible Sequels would not have been made either. My advice is to stay away from this movie, you'll expect too much due to its fame and come away disappointed and angry, mumbling something to yourself about the structure that plots are supposed to follow in movies. I wouldn't even suggest this movie for a laughable scary flick, I would instead shy away from it totally as it fails on both fronts, I guess the problem is it takes itself far too seriously in correspondence to its laughable plot and story and ends up really sucking.
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