Review of King Cobra

King Cobra (1999 Video)
2/10
Mr. Miyagi as Marlon Perkins???
8 January 2005
Warning: Spoilers
It's true. Pat Morita ("Happy Days;" the "Karate Kid" series) plays a herpetologist* recruited to help capture a genetically-engineered reptile. Why genetically engineered? Well, Joseph Ruskin plays a biochemist trying to find a neurochemical cure for hyperviolent aggression (like that exhibited by serial killers, I guess).

But, he can't experiment on humans, right off the bat. And, normal wild animals aren't aggressive enough (unless, of course, you cruelly provoke them). So, he creates Seth. And, here is where the zoological accuracy goes out the window even worse than it did in "Anacondas!" The Eastern diamondback is a genuine species of rattler . BUT, THERE IS NO SUCH SPECIES AS THE African KING COBRA!!

Oh, the scientific name (Haemachates haemachatus) was pronounced, correctly. That belongs to a _very_ aggressive species of South African spitting cobra known as the "ringhals." The proper scientific name for king cobras, however, is Naja hannah.

AND, THEY ARE NATIVE TO SOUTHEAST ASIA!

So, was Seth's biological daddy a gene-spliced hybrid, himself?

Perhaps. In any case, before you become a professional snake handler (like Dr. Hashimoto), maybe you should take out a life insurance policy with Mutual of Omaha.

*Herpetologists, btw, study reptiles _and_ amphibians, in general. A zoologist who specializes only in snakes is technically an ophiologist. "Here endeth the lesson." (Sean Connery, "The Untouchables")
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