The Purifiers (2004)
2/10
I would advise AGAINST watching this...
16 October 2004
I would advise AGAINST watching this...there's better things to do with your time and/or money. If, for some reason, you ARE gonna be subjected to this, don't expect ANY elements of many sci-fi/action films - no realistic martial arts; no gore; no sex, no logic - virtually no attempts to string together something that is a passable movie. So, it's a no-no, all the way. Rigid acting; illogical continuity (a girl goes off to find a phone box to make an emergency call, telling the guy who see has just seen using his mobile phone), inexplicable jump cuts are common (why did one guy just teleport on to the middle of an ice rink, in another example a girl surrounded by a biker gang suddenly appears on the outside of their ring?). The plot is simple: Copy 'The Warriors', just add a bid of poor martial arts (i.e. four glow sticks are thrashed around in a otherwise black screen to represent a fight, absolute childish crap!) and no one will know the difference, nah! The films title doesn't seem to make any real sense until after watching this movie you'd wish your mind could be purified of the memory of it! I WILLED it to end... from the 90 mins of the Purifiers, you easily have 30 mins of characters running around the place with annoying bad music, including the director singing with his almost forgotten pop band the Skids. That leaves, say, 60 mins of attempting to clone 'The Warriors', but done so badly your jaw will remain hanging throughout this sorry affair. This is not a movie. This is not an essay about a movie. This does not bear any resemblance with entertainment or cheesy fun or anything connected with the movie business. There are some movies which are so bad you can find them amusing, fun, easy to follow because of their badness... well, fascinating stuff. The only fascinating thing here is the will of the director to show us how badly he can try to rip off a classic which he wrongly believes people have forgotten, total boredom is the honest result. This is probably one of the only movies in all movie history where a blank screen can be a better spectacle...Yes it really is that bad!
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