Here comes your spoiler warning right in the first line: I won't reveal any important plot points, because this dreck of a movie has a pointless plot! This movie will make you feel dirty for watching it. Not the good kind of "Debbie does Dallas" dirty, but the "gee-I-wanna-take-a-shower-that-was-the-most-disgusting-thing-I've-ever-seen" dirty.
Here's your plot. Russ Hagen has goofy taste in hats, and J.C. is a baaaad,baad man. Oh, and if you weld the monkey bars from school onto the side of a motorcycle, your life will come to rape, murder and pain.
What I could'nt help but think the whole time this filth violated my screen was; did Coleman Francis have a fourth "missing" movie? Because here it is!! All the elements are there. Bad acting, Godawful plot, pointless,depressing story. All we need is coffee (I like coffee), Tony Cardoza and small aircraft. For all of you who pick on "Red Zone Cuba" and the others, here's an example of just how bad Coleman could have made a picture if he had only had the money.
If you still feel you must wade through this sewage, by all means do it the MST way. You'll miss a couple of graphic, wretched scenes, that would be important to a movie with a plot, but in this case it won't matter much. Then, just run yourself a nice, long hot bath and try to get "Sidehackers" off of you...
Here's your plot. Russ Hagen has goofy taste in hats, and J.C. is a baaaad,baad man. Oh, and if you weld the monkey bars from school onto the side of a motorcycle, your life will come to rape, murder and pain.
What I could'nt help but think the whole time this filth violated my screen was; did Coleman Francis have a fourth "missing" movie? Because here it is!! All the elements are there. Bad acting, Godawful plot, pointless,depressing story. All we need is coffee (I like coffee), Tony Cardoza and small aircraft. For all of you who pick on "Red Zone Cuba" and the others, here's an example of just how bad Coleman could have made a picture if he had only had the money.
If you still feel you must wade through this sewage, by all means do it the MST way. You'll miss a couple of graphic, wretched scenes, that would be important to a movie with a plot, but in this case it won't matter much. Then, just run yourself a nice, long hot bath and try to get "Sidehackers" off of you...