Review of Godsend

Godsend (2004)
2/10
God(Didn't)send This Turkey
2 May 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I mainly decided to see this movie because Robert De Niro is in it. He's on my top ten list of all-time favorite actors. Having seen the movie, though, I now believe that De Niro really needs a new agent.

This is a truly awful film; I find it hard to say anything good about it at all. The acting is terrible. Greg Kinnear turns in one of the most cardboard performances I've seen in a cinematic release, leaving what should be a sympathetic character absolutely devoid of life. Stamos brings about as much flavor to her role as one would expect from a slice of white bread. Even De Niro appears to be phoning it in for most of this flick, which is perhaps the most disappointing aspect of this dreck. I kept waiting for De Niro to break out, but it never happened. I haven't seen every one of his films, but this is the worst performance of any that I have. Such a great talent put to such obvious waste! He really is completely unconvincing as a scientist. Even the child actor who portrays Adam/Zachary seem flat and off the mark throughout the film.

Luckily, the actors involved with this mess can at least blame the writers, who have certainly given us a swiss cheese film full of plot holes and some of the most clichéd lines one could imagine. The bit with Zachary Clark's former nanny is a particularly terrible example of this.

The story itself betrays a tremendous (or perhaps willful) misunderstanding of cloning and genetics. It isn't possible to clone things like personality, cognition, and memory. None of those things are genetic in and of themselves. Morality cannot be reproduced on a chromosome. This is perhaps the biggest flaw of the story; it's all based on something so absolutely ridiculous that anyone who paid attention in high school biology class should be able to see clear through this fundamental plot device.

(POSSIBLE SPOILER FOLLOWS)

There are, likewise, a few glaring continuity problems. For example, in one scene we see Greg Kinnear lying on the floor in a burning church. He's unconscious, having just had the back of his head smashed in enough to produce a rather copious flow of blood. Moments later, he's rescuing his wife in the cellar of their home. How does a man with an obviously fractured skull simply get up, get into a car, and drive home, and not even look a little woozy? Why isn't he covered with soot from the burning church? In fact, if the smashed-in skull didn't kill him, he should certainly have died from smoke inhalation. Furthermore, the church was filled with people who were about to leave for a funeral nearby. Where'd they all go? Didn't any of them notice the plumes of smoke rising from the church at the end of the De Niro/Kinnear scene? Did they all simply vanish, like any possible credibility in the storyline?

There is not a single strong element to this movie. The cinematography is mediocre, the soundtrack is bland, and there really is no reason to spend good money seeing it. Without a doubt, this is the most disappointing major film I've seen so far this year. It's certainly no Godsend for anyone who was involved with, or who has seen, this terrible, terrible movie.
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