You have to understand, I went into this with high hopes as it was recommended to me by people who I thought had good taste in these types of movies. Then again some of them liked Underworld, and well now I know better...
***MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS!!! SKIP MY ENTIRE REVIEW IF YOU ARE SET ON SEEING THIS MOVIE!!****** . . . .
The plot has been covered by many on here already so I'm only going to gloss over it to bring you to the points of the film where I could only shake my head in disbelieve over just how bad this flick is. First off we start with a psuedo archived evidence film of some cops going through the house that the movie takes place in, obviously this is after the whole main part of the movie has ocured. Here we are tricked by the narrator into thinking that no one in this movie is going to survive. So far off to a good start.
Next the actual movie kicks in with the 5 kids in the van. Jesica Biel quickly asserts herself of being the tough, but prudeish stereotypical character one can find in the worst horror films of the past, the bad Nightmare on Elm Street movies (as in not the first or third one) or Jason movies. She's tough, she has values that clash with everyone else in the van and she's not going to let anyone get away with anything that might save their lives later on ("Lets dump the body." "No she has a family who misses her.")
They pick up a tattered hitch hiker who is obviously been through some sort of ordeal. Once in the van and on the road she begins to shout that they are going the wrong way and that they should turn around because 'SHE'S NOT GOING BACK THERE!' then she eats a bullet from a gun she had hiding somewhere I don't even want to try and guess at. After what I felt was a poorly done yet trendy POV shot through her open skull what does our terrified group of teenagers do? Head back to the last gas-station, eatery or whatever last stop they had hit before picking her up?? NO! Of course not, no one even suggests that, no they keep going in the same direction the girl warned them about (yet I believe it's the same direction she was walking in when they picked her up, wtf??)
Then there's the wierd encounter at the shop where the sheriff tells them to meet him at some random location in 30 minutes after they had reported her suicide. Time to go find a better piece of civilization? Nope. Sure they pad the audience by arguing amongst themselves about why a cop would do such a thing, but like the brainless dorks that are needed to make this movie work they continue on to the meeting place anyways.
They get to the meeting spot and the sheriff is not there, and although it's super creepy, they stick around anyways.
Eventually they get to the house with the psycho-family and the killing starts. People begin dropping pretty fast and there's some good tense moments near the beginning of all of this, but it's nothing new or fresh. You can guess who's going to get killed next. "No only she can come in and use the phone..." (10 minutes later) "Honey?? Where did you go??"... (search, search, dead). It's in the lackluster camera work and stereo-typical music. Nothing feels new or terribly creative about this film. I do have to say the cinematography is nice, in that 'they had alot of money to through into the computer filtering process' way. It worked on some levels but it failed in presenting the bleak, hot, scorched earth like surroundings I was hoping to see. Something that would have helped this movie out. I felt the surroundings where not nearly as erie as they could have been.
Fast forward to the end of the movie and let me get to some of my favorite parts.
* Did anwyone else immediatly realise Morgan was kidding the second he stuck his arm in the car?
* The dude from Heavy Metal Jacket actualy says at one point "Get up you Maggot!" LOL!! It's just like Mail Call!
* Beil puts a long over due 'WTF IS HE STILL DOING ALIVE??' character mercifully to rest by... wait scratch the mercy part.... BY STABBING HIM IN THE STOMACH WITH A HUGE KNIFE!!?!!?!! WHAT?!? For god sakes, the guy was missing a leg, how about cutting his make shift dressings and let him bleed to death? Slit his neck?? CUT A MAJOR ARTERY IN HIS LEG??? ANYTHING BUT INFLICTING ONE OF THE SLOWEST MOST PAINFUL WOUNDS TO HIS ALREADY MISERABLE SITUATION!?!??? I don't think she likes men.
* This one I still can't believe happened. Leatherface DROPS HIS RUNNING CHAINSAW TO THE GROUND while wrestling another character, Beil who's standing right next to them both and completely free to manuever..... well she beats on Leatherface's back and tells him to "STOP!", meanwhile the chainsaw is within easy reach. She could have AT LEAST kicked it away from him and saved... wait, it's another guy character, that explains it.
* This waif of a girl chops off Leatherface's arm with a butcher knife in about 5 - 10 seconds. Right through the bone, and his arm which is about a foot thick.
* She saves the baby... of course! The second the baby entered the movie, I saw the expected Hollywood (and safe for test audiances) ending beginning to brew. . . .
See the original, or House of a 1000 Corpses for some decent horror in this genre. Not this high budget, no creativity, poorly written movie.
***MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS!!! SKIP MY ENTIRE REVIEW IF YOU ARE SET ON SEEING THIS MOVIE!!****** . . . .
The plot has been covered by many on here already so I'm only going to gloss over it to bring you to the points of the film where I could only shake my head in disbelieve over just how bad this flick is. First off we start with a psuedo archived evidence film of some cops going through the house that the movie takes place in, obviously this is after the whole main part of the movie has ocured. Here we are tricked by the narrator into thinking that no one in this movie is going to survive. So far off to a good start.
Next the actual movie kicks in with the 5 kids in the van. Jesica Biel quickly asserts herself of being the tough, but prudeish stereotypical character one can find in the worst horror films of the past, the bad Nightmare on Elm Street movies (as in not the first or third one) or Jason movies. She's tough, she has values that clash with everyone else in the van and she's not going to let anyone get away with anything that might save their lives later on ("Lets dump the body." "No she has a family who misses her.")
They pick up a tattered hitch hiker who is obviously been through some sort of ordeal. Once in the van and on the road she begins to shout that they are going the wrong way and that they should turn around because 'SHE'S NOT GOING BACK THERE!' then she eats a bullet from a gun she had hiding somewhere I don't even want to try and guess at. After what I felt was a poorly done yet trendy POV shot through her open skull what does our terrified group of teenagers do? Head back to the last gas-station, eatery or whatever last stop they had hit before picking her up?? NO! Of course not, no one even suggests that, no they keep going in the same direction the girl warned them about (yet I believe it's the same direction she was walking in when they picked her up, wtf??)
Then there's the wierd encounter at the shop where the sheriff tells them to meet him at some random location in 30 minutes after they had reported her suicide. Time to go find a better piece of civilization? Nope. Sure they pad the audience by arguing amongst themselves about why a cop would do such a thing, but like the brainless dorks that are needed to make this movie work they continue on to the meeting place anyways.
They get to the meeting spot and the sheriff is not there, and although it's super creepy, they stick around anyways.
Eventually they get to the house with the psycho-family and the killing starts. People begin dropping pretty fast and there's some good tense moments near the beginning of all of this, but it's nothing new or fresh. You can guess who's going to get killed next. "No only she can come in and use the phone..." (10 minutes later) "Honey?? Where did you go??"... (search, search, dead). It's in the lackluster camera work and stereo-typical music. Nothing feels new or terribly creative about this film. I do have to say the cinematography is nice, in that 'they had alot of money to through into the computer filtering process' way. It worked on some levels but it failed in presenting the bleak, hot, scorched earth like surroundings I was hoping to see. Something that would have helped this movie out. I felt the surroundings where not nearly as erie as they could have been.
Fast forward to the end of the movie and let me get to some of my favorite parts.
* Did anwyone else immediatly realise Morgan was kidding the second he stuck his arm in the car?
* The dude from Heavy Metal Jacket actualy says at one point "Get up you Maggot!" LOL!! It's just like Mail Call!
* Beil puts a long over due 'WTF IS HE STILL DOING ALIVE??' character mercifully to rest by... wait scratch the mercy part.... BY STABBING HIM IN THE STOMACH WITH A HUGE KNIFE!!?!!?!! WHAT?!? For god sakes, the guy was missing a leg, how about cutting his make shift dressings and let him bleed to death? Slit his neck?? CUT A MAJOR ARTERY IN HIS LEG??? ANYTHING BUT INFLICTING ONE OF THE SLOWEST MOST PAINFUL WOUNDS TO HIS ALREADY MISERABLE SITUATION!?!??? I don't think she likes men.
* This one I still can't believe happened. Leatherface DROPS HIS RUNNING CHAINSAW TO THE GROUND while wrestling another character, Beil who's standing right next to them both and completely free to manuever..... well she beats on Leatherface's back and tells him to "STOP!", meanwhile the chainsaw is within easy reach. She could have AT LEAST kicked it away from him and saved... wait, it's another guy character, that explains it.
* This waif of a girl chops off Leatherface's arm with a butcher knife in about 5 - 10 seconds. Right through the bone, and his arm which is about a foot thick.
* She saves the baby... of course! The second the baby entered the movie, I saw the expected Hollywood (and safe for test audiances) ending beginning to brew. . . .
See the original, or House of a 1000 Corpses for some decent horror in this genre. Not this high budget, no creativity, poorly written movie.