The Scifi Channel probably will not pick this up as series, SURPRISED, me neither.
What is the point of a `re-imagined' fiasco, it isn't anything like the original?
That's the oh so prevalent reservation heard over the internet ever since The Sci-Fi Channel rejected the Richard Hatch, Brian Singer and Tom DeSanto versions in its objective to make Battlestar Galactica into a 2003 mini-series. It has been said that in order to fairly critique this project, one must consider it as a separate entity to the 1978 series. However, what is the point to this, if it isn't anything like the original?
To be fair, the general outline of the 1978 series and 2003 mini-series are identical. Mortal enemies called Cylons destroy 12 human colonies in a surprise attack. Of all the mighty ships that protected these colonies, only the Battlestar Galactica survives. The leader of this vessel, Commander Adama, takes command of a rag-tag fleet to find the long-forgotten, legendary "13th colony" of Earth. This is the way it was in the original series. That's where this remake is the same.
Sadly, that singular paragraph is the only thing similar to the original series at all. The original series' concept was that "brothers of man" who inspired ancient civilizations like the Egyptians and Mayans were fighting to survive, in a solar system far, far away. In this retooled remake there are indeed colonies of man, but they aren't anything like "ancient Egypt" at all; they're just humdrum cities filled with humdrum humans with humdrum costumes flying in their humdrum spaceships. Remember how the original series' pilots all wore helmets with Egyptian style markings on them? Well, now they are all wearing space helmets. Boring, been-there-done-that space helmets.
Oh, yes, there's also the "new" Starbuck, as talked about on many a message board by now. In the original, Starbuck was sort of "TV Han Solo," as played by Dirk Benedict ("The A-Team"). Here, Starbuck is a tomboy-like skinny blonde (Katee Sackhoff), who even if you accept the gender change, has a lot to be desired. Starbuck may have been a typically sexist 1970's character but at least he was always fun; he never took anything too seriously. If you're going to make Starbuck a woman, at least make sure it's a women who, much like Dirk Benedict, always holds back a mischievous grin and a glint in her eye. All the new Starbuck has is a walking smart-mouthed, hard drinking, cigar chomping, hard drinking, fist swinging, Top Gun clone with a big personality disorder, the anal sort.
*Spoiler* WELL NOT MUCH OF ONE SINCE IT HAS ALREADY AIRED, `THERE ARE ONLY 12 MODELS OF CYLONS' IS A CRIPTIC MESSAGE SENT TO COMMANDER ADAMA FROM BALTAR'S HOLOGRAM #6 (IN THE END SEE SEVERAL MORE VERY ATTRACTIVE MAXIM/PAGE 3/VICTORIA'S SECRET MODELS AND BOOMER, TOO) Amazon already has the mini logo in DVD, go figure?
Not even Cylons are no longer Cylons! In the original series, Cylons were mechanical to the highest degree; a race of purely artificial beings who abhorred anything "human" at all. Now, they are supposedly a race of robots longing to be human, yet wanting to kill humans anyway. Huh? Don't bother figuring this plot paradox out: you only need to know that Cylons in this remake are led by a supermodel-type cyborg named #6; a "Cylon" who seems to go around having sex to get spy information. I'd say sex sells, but for some reason Six doesn't "sell it" for me. Maybe it's how her spine glows red during sex? That's a tad bit too silly for my tastes.
Then there's Baltar: the man who was once the series' arch-villain. Now, he's an ill fated sex addict! He's a guy who was at first fooled by #6 to give key defense codes in the throes of passion (Uh...didn't he suspect something when his lover asked for top secret information in the middle of sex...?). Now, Baltar is a cowardly "genius" (or so they tell us), just trying to survive. So what...? He's been downgraded into a mere foolishly fooled fool so what's the harm? Of all the script changes, this is the most dire; Baltar was the arch nemesis of all Galactica lore. Making him into a bumbling genius is folly, to no good end.
Here's what I don't get. If you've been given the permission to rip-off a 1978 TV series, why would you decide to rip-off every single other sci-fi story source, instead? Gone are original Galactica costumes that resembled ancient Egyptian wear, replaced with headgear and uniforms that look ripped off from --of all places-- Starship Troopers. Gone are the chrome-armored Cylons, replaced with a sexy female cyborg: a rip-off of Terminator 3 at best, and Species at worst. Gone is the ominous attack by thousands of Cylon fighter ships at once, replaced with large explosions seen from the air, over key metropolitan cities; a very obvious Independence Day rip-off. Regardless of all the ripping off going on, at no time did I see a single homage to Galactica; the very source this mini-series was supposed to be ripping off! That's just weird.
Even by itself --that is, if you forget the original series, and the reason for this remake, entirely-- the script is still flawed. It is implied that with the defense codes Baltar provided, the Cylons can attack without hindrance. The thought is that Cylons can use their own computer brains to hack into all computer defense systems and disable them.
This is an amusing premise though it doesn't sell the story the way it could have. What about the 20-year-old ships dragged out of storage, to defend the Galactica? They wouldn't have the same ease for hacking. Consider: even a classic Macintosh Plus is invulnerable to a virus that could wipe out the whole hard drive of a modern Pentium 4. This is one of many story elements that stared this mini-series' writers square in the eye, and could have really improved the story...yet were sadly ignored.
What is the point of a `re-imagined' fiasco, it isn't anything like the original?
That's the oh so prevalent reservation heard over the internet ever since The Sci-Fi Channel rejected the Richard Hatch, Brian Singer and Tom DeSanto versions in its objective to make Battlestar Galactica into a 2003 mini-series. It has been said that in order to fairly critique this project, one must consider it as a separate entity to the 1978 series. However, what is the point to this, if it isn't anything like the original?
To be fair, the general outline of the 1978 series and 2003 mini-series are identical. Mortal enemies called Cylons destroy 12 human colonies in a surprise attack. Of all the mighty ships that protected these colonies, only the Battlestar Galactica survives. The leader of this vessel, Commander Adama, takes command of a rag-tag fleet to find the long-forgotten, legendary "13th colony" of Earth. This is the way it was in the original series. That's where this remake is the same.
Sadly, that singular paragraph is the only thing similar to the original series at all. The original series' concept was that "brothers of man" who inspired ancient civilizations like the Egyptians and Mayans were fighting to survive, in a solar system far, far away. In this retooled remake there are indeed colonies of man, but they aren't anything like "ancient Egypt" at all; they're just humdrum cities filled with humdrum humans with humdrum costumes flying in their humdrum spaceships. Remember how the original series' pilots all wore helmets with Egyptian style markings on them? Well, now they are all wearing space helmets. Boring, been-there-done-that space helmets.
Oh, yes, there's also the "new" Starbuck, as talked about on many a message board by now. In the original, Starbuck was sort of "TV Han Solo," as played by Dirk Benedict ("The A-Team"). Here, Starbuck is a tomboy-like skinny blonde (Katee Sackhoff), who even if you accept the gender change, has a lot to be desired. Starbuck may have been a typically sexist 1970's character but at least he was always fun; he never took anything too seriously. If you're going to make Starbuck a woman, at least make sure it's a women who, much like Dirk Benedict, always holds back a mischievous grin and a glint in her eye. All the new Starbuck has is a walking smart-mouthed, hard drinking, cigar chomping, hard drinking, fist swinging, Top Gun clone with a big personality disorder, the anal sort.
*Spoiler* WELL NOT MUCH OF ONE SINCE IT HAS ALREADY AIRED, `THERE ARE ONLY 12 MODELS OF CYLONS' IS A CRIPTIC MESSAGE SENT TO COMMANDER ADAMA FROM BALTAR'S HOLOGRAM #6 (IN THE END SEE SEVERAL MORE VERY ATTRACTIVE MAXIM/PAGE 3/VICTORIA'S SECRET MODELS AND BOOMER, TOO) Amazon already has the mini logo in DVD, go figure?
Not even Cylons are no longer Cylons! In the original series, Cylons were mechanical to the highest degree; a race of purely artificial beings who abhorred anything "human" at all. Now, they are supposedly a race of robots longing to be human, yet wanting to kill humans anyway. Huh? Don't bother figuring this plot paradox out: you only need to know that Cylons in this remake are led by a supermodel-type cyborg named #6; a "Cylon" who seems to go around having sex to get spy information. I'd say sex sells, but for some reason Six doesn't "sell it" for me. Maybe it's how her spine glows red during sex? That's a tad bit too silly for my tastes.
Then there's Baltar: the man who was once the series' arch-villain. Now, he's an ill fated sex addict! He's a guy who was at first fooled by #6 to give key defense codes in the throes of passion (Uh...didn't he suspect something when his lover asked for top secret information in the middle of sex...?). Now, Baltar is a cowardly "genius" (or so they tell us), just trying to survive. So what...? He's been downgraded into a mere foolishly fooled fool so what's the harm? Of all the script changes, this is the most dire; Baltar was the arch nemesis of all Galactica lore. Making him into a bumbling genius is folly, to no good end.
Here's what I don't get. If you've been given the permission to rip-off a 1978 TV series, why would you decide to rip-off every single other sci-fi story source, instead? Gone are original Galactica costumes that resembled ancient Egyptian wear, replaced with headgear and uniforms that look ripped off from --of all places-- Starship Troopers. Gone are the chrome-armored Cylons, replaced with a sexy female cyborg: a rip-off of Terminator 3 at best, and Species at worst. Gone is the ominous attack by thousands of Cylon fighter ships at once, replaced with large explosions seen from the air, over key metropolitan cities; a very obvious Independence Day rip-off. Regardless of all the ripping off going on, at no time did I see a single homage to Galactica; the very source this mini-series was supposed to be ripping off! That's just weird.
Even by itself --that is, if you forget the original series, and the reason for this remake, entirely-- the script is still flawed. It is implied that with the defense codes Baltar provided, the Cylons can attack without hindrance. The thought is that Cylons can use their own computer brains to hack into all computer defense systems and disable them.
This is an amusing premise though it doesn't sell the story the way it could have. What about the 20-year-old ships dragged out of storage, to defend the Galactica? They wouldn't have the same ease for hacking. Consider: even a classic Macintosh Plus is invulnerable to a virus that could wipe out the whole hard drive of a modern Pentium 4. This is one of many story elements that stared this mini-series' writers square in the eye, and could have really improved the story...yet were sadly ignored.