Suicide Club (2001)
6/10
membership: optional, meeting place: somewhere high off the ground
13 April 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I have to ask myself: why do I keep watching these movies? Obscure, little films, generally unrated because of violent content and with bizarre, nonsensical plots. Suicide Circle belongs to the worst kind of those films - in fact, it almost borders on the offensive to the mind and sensibilities.

The story, about a series of suicides that suddenly take Japan by storm, can't make up its mind whether it wants to be serious or not. Or maybe I just can't pinpoint it. It features a terrifying opening where 54 schoolgirls (I know, it doesn't sound very terrifying) jump underneath a subway train and get sliced by it (we are later told that the train couldn't stop because it slipped on human grease - I guess the carcasses of those schoolgirls melted quickly on impact). Blood splatters everywhere, but not like it would in a normal movie (because, this is definitely not that), but *explodes* all over the metro station, splattering the faces of all the unsuspecting onlookers in the expressionist style of Jackson Pollock, but without his precision.

In any case - you start to wonder why. I mean, it's not every day that 54 schoolgirls hold hands, count to three and commit ritual suicide. Introduce a bunch of detectives, a nonsensical subplot with an Internet nerd who leads the police to the answer (if you could call it an answer), terrible musical interludes by a six or seven-member band of 12.5-year-olds (as we are told in the movie) who sing songs about love via email. All in all, a deranged assortment of weirdness abounds.

*minor, minor spoilers* But is the movie serious or not? Well, the cartoonish violence points in a not-so serious direction. Further, there are scenes that are simply so absurd, they're hilarious. Take for instance a moment when a bunch of school kids are just talking and chillin (on the roof of the school, conveniently) and what have you, and then all of a sudden they start talking about how cool suicide is and how cool those schoolgirls were who committed it. Next thing you know, they're all standing on the edge of the roof counting to three. Cut to: two kids chatting in the cafeteria by a window and then BLAM! An ejaculation of blood, and one p***ed off janitor, who, in one particularly revealing scene, has to scrape an ear with some hair attached to it off the window.

And who could forget the scene where a beautiful girl (and I mean, really a gorgeous creature) walks down the street and suddenly her boyfriend's body lands on top of her, leaving her with a concussion and a bloody ear - a somewhat failed suicide attempt. So, yes, you want to say, the answer is self-explanatory. The film is a joke.

But is it? There are scenes of serious family drama. I don't want to reveal too much, but some sequences in Suicide Club are definitely intended sincerely and seriously. Mixed with the hilarity of contrasting scenes, this causes an implacable unevenness. And, with suicide as a topic (especially as a social phenomenon), this causes the movie to border on being offensive.

Still, I got through it. It was relatively uninteresting, even if my unflattering descriptions make it sound exciting as a freakshow. It's not. It's a badly written story, with ridiculous dialogue, terrible acting, and horrifying attempts at social commentary. If this film, in its more serious moments, actually tries to attack the issues of growing social nihilism in Japan, or the existential questions of "to be or not to be," then it serves more as a symptom, then an exploration. It's a boring splatter film, or a failed social drama, or a incoherently dumb thriller, or all of the above. The forcefully moralizing ending is a particularly painful experience.

Needless to say, I don't recommend the film, but if you do watch it count the times the main cop character bows his head in despair and shakes it. It's like his signature or something.
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