1/10
ghosts of the deathly bored (and sick!)
20 April 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Unless you are a BIG Titanic fan, this movie (better described as a poorly done documentary) will be one of the most unpleasant 70 min movie experiences you will encounter. Any thoughts that something other than the mud-slimed Titanic might be covered--like the animal life down there, or the geology, etc.--will be completely left in the mud. Cameron clearly is _only_ interested in seeing the old ship, and imagining--with some interesting special effects fill-ins--what it was like back when. But all this loses interest pretty quickly: 15 mins would have been plenty. Unfortunately, the 3D glasses added significant physical discomfort to an ultimately boring final hour of the movie. For example, toward the end of the movie, I was wondering whether or not to keep my eyes shut to keep myself from getting physically sick. And I was quite bored by this time. So Cameron this provides "the big moment" in the movie (SPOILER): he takes the joystick controls on a "bot" to save the 2nd bot from being lost on the Titanic. We were supposed to believe that the little "bot" had some real sentimental value: perhaps true for the crew, but nothing was included in the movie to get the audience to the same place. Then we're told that, anyway and after all, the little guy was "quite expensive." This coming from the multi-multi-multi-millionaire Cameron. One of the least effective moments I've ever seen on screen.

But Cameron tops that with the advertisements that state that the 3D effects will change the way we will think about movies in the future. What a sleazy sales pitch, and from a director that I (used to!!) respect! The old premise that only really bad movies are put into 3D--this gimmick has been used many times limit their losses--is not put to the test here. Worse, the 3D effects on a big IMAX screen, unrelentingly continued throughout the full 70 min movie (10 min would have been plenty!) gave me a serious headache, and a sick stomach; both hung around for more than an hour after the movie. Something about the big screen, fast movements, and the length of time staring through the goofy glasses made for absolutely the worst IMAX experience my family and I have ever had. The 3D effects _SERIOUSLY_ detract from the normally wonderful IMAX visual effects.

Forget GOTA, and see whatever the other IMAX feature(s) is in your area. I rate this movie 1 out of 10: it left me bored, dizzy, and sick to my stomach. I can't remember another movie that left me feeling so unpleasant afterwards.
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