CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!!! I guess I am just an old geezer. Jeeze you know, I like a tear jerker as well as anyone else. Probably Better than most, if the story is really moving and poignant, But GET A GRIP folks This is formula sniveling at it's frame by frame worst! First of all this little "Tear Jerker" started off with the every lovely & required and by now delightfull URNAL SCENE ...Only this was even more clever than most. The Urnal of choice here was the Pacific Ocean, How Creative!....Eat your heart out Orson Wells Now, Lets see what else do we have here, Start with-A Boy (young man) who is so obnoxious that from the first moment on screen you want to put him in a bag and take him down to the river and drown him like a rabid rat. Our hero also does drugs, sniffs glue, any and all medication that he can get his hands on, has every orafice in his body pierced, is totally defiant and angry, Wears Eye makeup and lipstick, spending most of his creative time laying on his back in his locked bedroom (7 locks or so on his door) listening to Acid Rock. And for the frosting on the cake he can't get a handle or quite know his sexuality. Oh yes forgot to mention he works part time as a homosexual male prostitute --So...quite naturally his father wants him to stay and do some male bonding through the summer, (probably becuase his is such excellent company)...also so doubtlessly so that He, the father can snivel to this charming boy about his own abusive father. Well O.K....lets push on.
Now then, every one in the story is schtupping everyone else...without exception, All the central characters have slept, or will soon have sexual intercourse with each other. UmmmmHummm, o.k. so the movies not ALL bad, but moving right along. - It's true that the Father does have terminal cancer and he did once have his moment in the Sun, with his little boy (this same charming boy age only then 5) holding him in his arms in the ocean (We know because we have the video tape provided over and over)...."The high point of the fathers life" Yada Yada Yada... O.K. so one hankie almost comes out of the box....But then you have the shower scene with the boy and the young femme fatal...he climaxes prematurely...while screaming "I'm Not Gay!" A Scene or so later, The same young girl then goes and sticks her tongue full down the numb and over medicated sleeping throat of his Cancerous Father, to what end I am still not sure. Can it Get any Better than This Folks? Oh my...we haven't even started yet. Now finally after knocking down a few walls, Sawing a closet in half with a chainsaw (Yeah right) so that the son can take a "dump" (since the toilet is in the center of the living room) The son then in anger breaks into a chorus directed at his father of "You Made Me Love You!, I didn't wanna do it, You know you made me do it" Runs off to pout. Finally more stuff happens ...more sniviling and so on...But not to worry folks....The "Tah Dah!" Cliff Hanger- This is great! Yur gonna love this! I thought I had seen every cowboy and every heroic ending concieved...But this one was just Fab! -It seems one of the neighbors (the dedicated villian) who's been abused by the Cancer guys dog lo these many years takes revenge by calling the city inspector....and eventually the police because the newly constucted house built by the sorta now bonded son and father is 3 inches taller than code....But...Prepare your self for the greatest cliff hanger ...the greatest hero to the rescue scene ever! Man This one wowed me. It seems that he (the mean neighbor) was one of the guys who had previously given oral sex and three hundred dollars to our young hero, and the boy recognizes him, or at least the top of his head, and or his black Lexus.....Tah Dah!......Hoppilong Cassidy where are you when we really need a hero? I wonder how many cowboys Blew Hoppy before he ran off to save the day?....Oh Yeah, sorry I forgot it is 2002. Anyway he (the villian) cowers off mumbling about his indiscretion telling the cops to forget it....and the movie ends as the son and father.....Ah HELL who cares how it ends. MERCIFULLY IT DID. That is what really counts and was indeed for this old grump the best part of the film. I took my box of cleanex back to the store. I am prepared to cry a bit. Honestly! But your gonna have to do better than this Silly stuff....And if you are going to do wanna be, coulda be, shoulda be homosexual theme movies...at least Greag Kinear, in "As Good as it gets" and John Ritter in "Sling Blade gave convincing meaningfull portrayals of likeable people that you were interested in. This kid should have jumped of the cliff (at the land fill side of the ocean) during the first 5 minutes of this film.
Now then, every one in the story is schtupping everyone else...without exception, All the central characters have slept, or will soon have sexual intercourse with each other. UmmmmHummm, o.k. so the movies not ALL bad, but moving right along. - It's true that the Father does have terminal cancer and he did once have his moment in the Sun, with his little boy (this same charming boy age only then 5) holding him in his arms in the ocean (We know because we have the video tape provided over and over)...."The high point of the fathers life" Yada Yada Yada... O.K. so one hankie almost comes out of the box....But then you have the shower scene with the boy and the young femme fatal...he climaxes prematurely...while screaming "I'm Not Gay!" A Scene or so later, The same young girl then goes and sticks her tongue full down the numb and over medicated sleeping throat of his Cancerous Father, to what end I am still not sure. Can it Get any Better than This Folks? Oh my...we haven't even started yet. Now finally after knocking down a few walls, Sawing a closet in half with a chainsaw (Yeah right) so that the son can take a "dump" (since the toilet is in the center of the living room) The son then in anger breaks into a chorus directed at his father of "You Made Me Love You!, I didn't wanna do it, You know you made me do it" Runs off to pout. Finally more stuff happens ...more sniviling and so on...But not to worry folks....The "Tah Dah!" Cliff Hanger- This is great! Yur gonna love this! I thought I had seen every cowboy and every heroic ending concieved...But this one was just Fab! -It seems one of the neighbors (the dedicated villian) who's been abused by the Cancer guys dog lo these many years takes revenge by calling the city inspector....and eventually the police because the newly constucted house built by the sorta now bonded son and father is 3 inches taller than code....But...Prepare your self for the greatest cliff hanger ...the greatest hero to the rescue scene ever! Man This one wowed me. It seems that he (the mean neighbor) was one of the guys who had previously given oral sex and three hundred dollars to our young hero, and the boy recognizes him, or at least the top of his head, and or his black Lexus.....Tah Dah!......Hoppilong Cassidy where are you when we really need a hero? I wonder how many cowboys Blew Hoppy before he ran off to save the day?....Oh Yeah, sorry I forgot it is 2002. Anyway he (the villian) cowers off mumbling about his indiscretion telling the cops to forget it....and the movie ends as the son and father.....Ah HELL who cares how it ends. MERCIFULLY IT DID. That is what really counts and was indeed for this old grump the best part of the film. I took my box of cleanex back to the store. I am prepared to cry a bit. Honestly! But your gonna have to do better than this Silly stuff....And if you are going to do wanna be, coulda be, shoulda be homosexual theme movies...at least Greag Kinear, in "As Good as it gets" and John Ritter in "Sling Blade gave convincing meaningfull portrayals of likeable people that you were interested in. This kid should have jumped of the cliff (at the land fill side of the ocean) during the first 5 minutes of this film.