Where on earth can I start? This is without doubt the worst film I have seen this year, to be honest I would go as far as to say it could make it into my top ten worst films of all time. About as suspenseful as Scary Movie and as chilling as Casper, Thir13en Ghosts (which genius thought of spelling the title like that?) deserves absolutely no credit whatsoever. I have never seen such appalling acting in a theatrical release, the cast shares the combined talent of a porn star. NOTE - Some minor spoilers may pop up here and there from now on. Shannon Elizabeth deserves an extra mention for such superior dialogue like "This place is awesome!... It's beautiful!... My own bathroom!" and sure enough "It's beautiful!" again. For the love of God Shannon, take some bloody acting lessons!!! More fab dialogue comes from the Dad, who upon seeing a book on a table exclaims with as much enthusiasm as Steven Seagal "What a wealth of knowledge". The virtually non-existent plot devotes no time to character development or back stories for the main characters so we feel little emotion for them, who incidentally seem to be so unbelievably stupid you end up rooting for the ghosts instead. This brings me to my next point - the make up. Again, this fails on every level. Most of the ghosts look like bad actors in those cheap rubber horror masks you buy at the hardware store for £5 with plastic knives and spikes sticking out of them. The most prominently featured one - a naked girl - simply has a truckload of black eye shadow plastered around her eyes and two huge 'gashes' over her breasts, which actually looks like two lines of red lipstick. There is no logic to the film, no real plot, in fact the whole thing made me ask myself "What in God's name was the point of this?". I can tell that I'm losing it now, the thought of last Friday night just makes my skin crawl.
Despite the film being horrifically bad in general, it had a few good aspects. For example - SPOILER - the awesome dissection of the salesman. Now that's good 'ol fashioned gore!!! Special mention should also go to the set, which is actually fantastic. However, a mind-blowing set does not a good movie make, so take my advise: avoid this film. At all costs. Please. I beg you. If Satan were ever to disguise himself as a roll of celluloid, this is it.
Despite the film being horrifically bad in general, it had a few good aspects. For example - SPOILER - the awesome dissection of the salesman. Now that's good 'ol fashioned gore!!! Special mention should also go to the set, which is actually fantastic. However, a mind-blowing set does not a good movie make, so take my advise: avoid this film. At all costs. Please. I beg you. If Satan were ever to disguise himself as a roll of celluloid, this is it.