Review of Bruiser

Bruiser (2000)
1/10
I wished I had two bruised, swollen eyes...
12 April 2002
so that watching this piece of tripe might have been less painful. Then again, I would have had to listen to the dialogue.

Speaking of which, GAR needs to stop reading Mickey Spillane when it comes to cop dialogue. "Dame"? "Cup of joe"? Those references went out in, uh, 1955.

The concept of the doormat-cum-revenge seeker is fine, but the delivery just plain sucks. For example, the first kill is the maid, and made no sense whatsoever...it's even her first scene! There's no prior information that she's been stealing or anything, yet the first thing we hear is her loudly throwing silverware into a bag. Riiight. And she doesn't fit the mold of the next victims...all of whom have been deceitful and cheating for years.

Next is this mask thing he's supposed to be wearing. Dumb. There can be other, better ways a person can lose his identity.

And the relationship with Rosie. Wha? How did that happen? Where did it come from? There's nothing is the supposed backstory that shows why she would even give him the time of day, plus it does little for the overall story plot.

And the death scene of the Overacted Czech. A death laser. Sure. I guess it was nothing more than a stupid scene to a fantastically stupid movie.
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