P.U.N.K.S. (1999)
1/10
One of the Worst Film I Have Ever Seen...
11 December 2002
What do you get when you mix Rambo, James Bond and pre-teens? "P.U.N.K.S.": one of the worst films I have ever seen.

Unlike some films, "P.U.N.K.S." isn't even "So bad it's good." It's just plain awful. Despite Randy Quaid, this film still sinks to the depths.

Take one scene for example: these kids manage to get into this "top secret" building by taking a young Jessica Alba, who went on to star in TV's "Dark Angel," (with this film, I'm surprised she got a role in a commercial) pushing a ball in her shirt and making the guards in the building think she's pregnant. A 12 year old. Right. Anyway, she stands outside the building at midnight, going "Oh, my, my baby!" And of course, the guards, being the "stupid adults" they are, rush out to her with dumb looks on their faces, as these other kids enter the building and start shooting rubber darts at "hi-tech" cameras mounted on walls. We see a POV from the camera -- the kids leap in front of the cameras like an action star, and shoot the darts with nerf guns. Good Lord Almighty!

There are many things like this, including a scene at a golf course where these "Men in Black" FBI guys start chasing these kids, who are dressed in leather shirts and pants. And of course, they have sunglasses, too. So the kids manage to outsmart these FBI agents -- at a golf course -- by doing insane things that would make a two year old blush.

Don't see "P.U.N.K.S." I strongly urge you stay clear of it. It isn't even funny. 1/5 stars-

John Ulmer
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