Like "The Purple Rose of Cairo", "Celebrity" leaves it's central character sitting forlornly in a movie theatre, thinking what might have been. Unlike that fine film, however, this is a pretentious and shallow mess that never convinces and is rarely funny. Allen's over-lapping ad-lib dialogue style runs rampant here with little scripted text. It's just as well because the scripted lines sound hack written ("Who knew that angels flew so low?"). Branagh (standing in for Allen and almost imitating his put-upon demeanor and stumble-bum delivery at times) and co-star Judy Davis are both affecting American accents - fake number one. Other stars rush in and out of the picture like they've got plans elsewhere. After the first ten minutes, the audience will feel likewise. Phoney plot contrivances (writer with only one copy of a novel; bride runs from her own wedding) only make matters worse. Final skywriting scene says it all - "HELP"!
