7/10
Super human B-movie sweetness
13 September 2004
Oh boy. This movie is pretty awesome -- as far as unintentionally hilarious B-movies go. Steve Railsback, veteran B-movie actor, dials in his best (read: worst) performance to date.

So, Mr. Railsback plays the character of Dylan Pope -- a decrepit secret agent who has been "enhanced" by the wonders of Modern Technology. Our decrepit super agent can toss around terrorists like they were rag-dolls, he can run 10 miles in as many minutes, and, best of all, he can make passionate love to any woman unlucky enough to be partnered with him.

Bad movie highlights: Even though Dylan Pope has been enhanced with super human powers, he spends a lot of time whining about how tired he is, and what a nuisance it is to walk around. Seriously, this guy can run 10 miles in 10 minutes, and he complains about how tired he is from walking? Priceless.

Even though Dylan Pope is constantly hounded by terrorists, and other malcontents, he always has a poo-eating grin/smirk adorning his face. I honestly don't know what Railsback was thinking concerning his portrayal of this character. He's surrounded, and being shot at by terrorists, and he has this look of, "Golly this is fun stuff!" What!?

Other sweet moments: the number of scenes contrived to get Delilah Shane (played by Athena Massey) topless. The script introduced, IIRC, at least 3 moments in which Delilah would have to change clothes. Our favorite was when the terrorist leader throws a party that featured, among other things, full Victorian regalia. He's a terrorist, living in the Balkans (?), and he feels the urge to throw period piece fete for no reason whatsoever? Again, the whole situation was concocted to get Delilah topless.

And, of course, let's not forget the obligatory sex scene between Pope and Delilah. Imagine if you will: a moonlight meadow, next to an idyllic stream. A thin mist floats in the background, as 52 year old Railsback ponderously lies atop Massey -- their bodies writhing in a vaguely sexual manner. How erotic!

Then there's the showdown between the nefarious terrorists and Dylan Pope. Guess who wins?

Bad Movie Score: 7/10 Good Movie Score: 4/10
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