2/10
the rot festers
26 May 2004
It's all been said already... this is crud from start to finish. You get all the Seagalistic touchstones: the pudgy, stone-faced megalith with a Mysterious Past who's way smarter (in this movie, his character speaks Russian, Chinese, and Japanese) and more all-around-perfect than anyone else; the bad guys who can't fight their way out of a paper bag; the "This guy is really good" speech at the two-thirds point of the film; and a climactic fight that's just as one-sided as the ones that came before.

You get messages about Non-Violence and Inner Peace sandwiched between scenes of henchmen being impaled on construction equipment and having their gonads crushed and limbs broken. You get good actors (in this case, Brian Cox, Bob Gunton, and Stephen Toblowsky) phoning it in for a quick paycheck.

I did want to point something out that nobody's mentioned here. Halfway through, the cops come to believe that Seagal is the serial killer they're pursuing (which would have been a neat idea). He is subjected to a polygraph test, which he passes. Then we are subjected to another ego-stroking scene wherein the awed polygraph tech says something like, "Someone would have to have amazing reflexes and total control of their emotions to trick this machine."

Ya know, standard Seagal boilerplate. But of course, he isn't the killer, and he really was telling the truth... but I guess the point is that they stuck in a few extra lines of dialogue about how great/perfect/wonderful Seagal is anyway. Oy vey!

My other favorite scene: Deverall's son has accidentally overheard the details of his father's nefarious (if ill-explained) plan. Seagal & Wayans ask who his accomplice is. Deverall's son remembers that he's an older guy with a Texan accent, but can't remember his name. "Smith?" says Seagal. "Yeah, that's it!" exclaims the son. Come on, maybe if the guy's name was "Myxlplyzmyx" or "Huffuruhhurr" I could accept the kid having trouble remembering it, but "Smith"?

The only thing that could have saved this trash is if they'd been daring enough to make Seagal the killer after all. That would have been one hell of a third act: Seagal the Unstoppable Killing Machine, but this time he's the villain, and Wayans and the LAPD have a heck of a time bringing him down.

My advice: skip it in favor of any of Seagal's first four. They're just as bad, but they're more entertaining.
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