SPOILERS
Do you want to know how they kill the shark in this one? Do you want to know how stupid the producers of this Bahaman hunk of crap think you are? SHE SAILS THE BOAT INTO THE SHARK AND IMPALES IT WITH THE BOW. No, you read it correctly. The last Starfighter is standing on the deck, flashing some strobe at the shark. The strobe reacts to the electronic gizmo that Mario Van Peebles dropped in its mouth (naturally), the shark stands straight up in the water and roars--I said ROARS!!!--just at the moment Ellen Brody sails the boat into it. Smile you son-of-a-career-ruining-sequel!
This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. The shark eats the Last Starfighter's younger brother in New England, then IT FOLLOWS ELLEN BRODY TO THE BAHAMAS. Apparently, even sharks need a Caribbean getaway now and again. The story is impossible for anyone with even a single connected synapse to believe. I half expected the shark to somehow regurgitate Robert Shaw up onto the deck to help with the navigating of the boat directly into the heart of the beast.
About half way through the movie, my right hand jerked up involuntarily and smacked my face. Minutes later, my left hand did the same thing. That's right; this movie was so bad, that my body tried to stop me from watching it. Loss of bowel/bladder control followed quickly thereafter.
They should play this in hospitals to snap catatonics back to reality and wake coma patients who will jump out of bed and run screaming down the hall to get away from its sheer nightmarish stupidity. This isn't just bad-it's an atrocity.
I know in the director's cut, Mario Van Peebles--even though he was chewed up by the shark--doesn't die. He limply paddles back in after the great impaling, smiling and joking--it's alright, everybody, Mario Van Peebles made it! Had I seen that, my head would've exploded, ruining my couch and un-scotch guarded carpet.
Oh, Michael Kane. Why? You're an Oscar-caliber actor. What did you think it was going to do for your career, standing on the deck of 'Neptune's Folly' in-between the Last Starfighter and Mario Van Peebles? Hoagie, indeed my friend.
Do you want to know how they kill the shark in this one? Do you want to know how stupid the producers of this Bahaman hunk of crap think you are? SHE SAILS THE BOAT INTO THE SHARK AND IMPALES IT WITH THE BOW. No, you read it correctly. The last Starfighter is standing on the deck, flashing some strobe at the shark. The strobe reacts to the electronic gizmo that Mario Van Peebles dropped in its mouth (naturally), the shark stands straight up in the water and roars--I said ROARS!!!--just at the moment Ellen Brody sails the boat into it. Smile you son-of-a-career-ruining-sequel!
This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. The shark eats the Last Starfighter's younger brother in New England, then IT FOLLOWS ELLEN BRODY TO THE BAHAMAS. Apparently, even sharks need a Caribbean getaway now and again. The story is impossible for anyone with even a single connected synapse to believe. I half expected the shark to somehow regurgitate Robert Shaw up onto the deck to help with the navigating of the boat directly into the heart of the beast.
About half way through the movie, my right hand jerked up involuntarily and smacked my face. Minutes later, my left hand did the same thing. That's right; this movie was so bad, that my body tried to stop me from watching it. Loss of bowel/bladder control followed quickly thereafter.
They should play this in hospitals to snap catatonics back to reality and wake coma patients who will jump out of bed and run screaming down the hall to get away from its sheer nightmarish stupidity. This isn't just bad-it's an atrocity.
I know in the director's cut, Mario Van Peebles--even though he was chewed up by the shark--doesn't die. He limply paddles back in after the great impaling, smiling and joking--it's alright, everybody, Mario Van Peebles made it! Had I seen that, my head would've exploded, ruining my couch and un-scotch guarded carpet.
Oh, Michael Kane. Why? You're an Oscar-caliber actor. What did you think it was going to do for your career, standing on the deck of 'Neptune's Folly' in-between the Last Starfighter and Mario Van Peebles? Hoagie, indeed my friend.