Review of Hearts and Armour

Most impressive and engrossing Italian sword-and-sorcery film from the early 80s. "Hearts and Armour" has it all. Christian and Moorish warriors who travel the countryside in a valiant quest to kill each other. Barbara De Rossi as the central heroine who inherits an impenetrable suit of armor from a magical spirit. She then grapples with her internal conflict to either kill or fall in love with her enemy, in the traditional romantic tragedy premise. This short wizard guy with an annoying voice and a suit of feathers who tries to warn the star-crossed lovers of their inevitable doom together. Tanya Roberts looking hotter than ever, especially in that blue dress. No wonder even the staunchest celibacy-sworn men fall from honor at the sight of her. Invisibility stones, dirty sexual references, even dirtier fighting tricks. Oh, and about the fights. The fights in this movie are some of the best I've seen. Blood, bodies, and dismemberments abound, and a variety of unique weapons are presented in the final confrontation between the four best warriors of each side. I've especially always sort of wanted to see two men in full medieval armor have a straight fistfight with each other, and thanks to this movie I finally have.

This is again a case where I'm surprised I had never heard of this movie before watching it. It's unfortunately a bit hard to find, and due to the story's Crusade-based action, a DVD release is not likely in the near future. But if you're one who enjoys movies loaded with ye olde chivalrous characters and dialogue (as I do), peppered with the occasional violent swordfight (as I also do), then this is worth tracking down.