I really struggled with an appropriate title for this review. I mean, there were so many to choose from. How about "Each song worse than the last!"? That was one. How about "It really *is* worse than 'Voyage of the Rock Aliens'!"? That was another one. How about... well, you get the idea.
I can't add much that hasn't already been said, except that I am now one of the few who has seen "The Apple" and lived to tell about it. I know how Alfie and Bibi got their names, and I can guess how Mr. Topps got his, but I'm still not sure about Mr. Boogaloo. And I wish I had known to watch for Yma Sumac. I didn't realize she was in this thing until I saw her listed here. I also didn't realize there was *another* George Clinton. I only knew the one from Parliament and Funkadelic. You know, the cool one.
My theory on the pan-and-scan (the lack of it, I mean) is that the video transfer guy couldn't stand to watch the movie while it transferred so he just set the pan-and-scan thing to the middle of the screen and went on break. My favorite result is a shot of a lamp on Mr. Boogaloo's desk while all the action takes place off-screen. It's when Alfie and Bibi are in his office trying to decide if they should sign his contract or not.
In case you were too overcome to notice, there actually is one funny bit in this movie. It's when Alfie sneaks up behind his landlady and grabs her bosoms. It was unexpected. The rest of the film is deadpan serious. That is its undoing. Well, that and lousy writing, lousy singing, lousy acting, lousy costumes, lousy effects...
I can't add much that hasn't already been said, except that I am now one of the few who has seen "The Apple" and lived to tell about it. I know how Alfie and Bibi got their names, and I can guess how Mr. Topps got his, but I'm still not sure about Mr. Boogaloo. And I wish I had known to watch for Yma Sumac. I didn't realize she was in this thing until I saw her listed here. I also didn't realize there was *another* George Clinton. I only knew the one from Parliament and Funkadelic. You know, the cool one.
My theory on the pan-and-scan (the lack of it, I mean) is that the video transfer guy couldn't stand to watch the movie while it transferred so he just set the pan-and-scan thing to the middle of the screen and went on break. My favorite result is a shot of a lamp on Mr. Boogaloo's desk while all the action takes place off-screen. It's when Alfie and Bibi are in his office trying to decide if they should sign his contract or not.
In case you were too overcome to notice, there actually is one funny bit in this movie. It's when Alfie sneaks up behind his landlady and grabs her bosoms. It was unexpected. The rest of the film is deadpan serious. That is its undoing. Well, that and lousy writing, lousy singing, lousy acting, lousy costumes, lousy effects...