This horrifyingly bad and automatically inferior sequel to "The Poseidon Adventure" came and went in theaters so quickly that one could be forgiven for not even realizing that it ever existed! The real victim here was Paul Gallico, the author of the original story. When "PA" was made into a film, the writers changed several things around (as often happens). When plans of a sequel came about, Gallico wrote the sequel to the novel based NOT on his own great little book, but on the FILM's storyline. Then the filmmakers discarded his novel "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" and went with the version found here. So he adjusted his characters and story to fit Hollywood's version, only to have it abandoned in favor of this rehash. In it, two disparate groups join up to either salvage loot from the overturned vessel or rescue any leftover survivors. Instantly they are trapped as the boat belches and rocks continuously, yet they stay inside to find salvage, linger over conversations with newly discovered passengers and finally run around shooting at each other! The inexplicable cleanliness of the sets and utter illogic of the storyline pale in comparison to the hilariously bad dialogue and the banal music score. Previous, greater disaster movies had majestic scores done by excellent composers. This music has no memorable opening theme and features inappropriate and discordant music during scenes (often a whimsical "Flight of the Bumblebee" type of thing is heard.) Some of the dialogue has to be heard to be believed. One classic scene is when Knight dislocates her shoulder after grappling to save her blind husband Warden. Award-magnet Knight does a terrific job of displaying her injury and is carried over to a corner and revived realistically with smelling salts. Then purportedly-kind nurse Jones reveals an utter lack of bedside manner. Does she resort to the standard "You'll only feel a slight prick" or "This won't hurt a bit"??? Nooooo She grabs Ms. Knight's arm and goes, "This is going to hurt a great deal Mrs. Meredith, I'm so sorry!" Apparently, the violence of this scene was so intense that it had to be filmed through debris (fully obscuring Jones' face!) so as not to shock the audience! The characters are unwaveringly pathetic and annoying (and in many cases, just thinly disguised versions of folks from the original film.) Boyle is mercilessly loud and obnoxious, taking Ernest Borgnine's "type" to a new level of irritation. Cartwright is a little old to be playing the little girl sort of role that Pamela Sue Martin already did. Her costume makes her look like a frump. Pickens is hilarious, drawling out lines like, "Who's Svevo? As a matter of fact, who's Suzanne?" in a thick Texas accent. Jones' character is a drippy nurse and has to dredge up her own long-ago award just like Shelley Winters' swimming medal, to no good effect. Warden and Malden vie for audience sympathy with their afflictions, but don't get any. Field rubs immediate tarnish on her Oscar for "Norma Rae" with her over-the-top, "Three's Company" - level comedic attempts and Caine should have known better, but this was his period of making bomb after bomb. Still, it's fun on a camp level to watch once and future Oscar-winners slumming badly. Hamel, for the brief time she is on screen, is both alluring and amusing. Sadly, this and "When Time Ran Out" would slam the lid on any hopes of a film career, but she rebounded on television. Knight adds some much needed class, desperately trying to underact and say her lines with dignity amidst all the squalid overacting and preposterous situations. She is done no favors for this. Sadly, the old VHS and now the newly released DVD shear 8 minutes off the film's running time, cutting a lot of Warden, Knight and Jones' scenes, even removing the fact that Warden and Knight are authors! These were sentimental moments between all three and must have been spliced out in order to keep the action, such as it is, moving. It's a pointless, grave-robbing hack job intended to wring more money out of the classic original, but which sank like a stone at the box office. At least now it can be enjoyed for the audacious mess that it is!
Review of Beyond the Poseidon Adventure
