Nobody has panned this thing badly enough
26 September 2002
Warning: Spoilers
There are spoilers in this commentary, as if that matters.

I'm beating a dead horse because this movie is so old, but it's been re-broadcast a number of times on the non-commercial channels recently, giving me the opportuniy further to appreciate how atrocious it is.

The irony is that the premise is really great, even credible by sci-fi standards. An astronomical anomaly ignites the Earth's atmosphere, and only a precisely timed and placed nuclear explosion can snuff it out. There is one super-submarine capable of this. The admiral who is the creator of and senior officer on that sub (he is not the captain) takes it on himself to do this against his authorization.

Ok, now, where do I start? Anywhere.

The admiral slaps a sailor a la Patton and gets away with it (his alleged problems are more subtly psychological, apparently).

The captain relieves the admiral, then that situation is ignored.

The captain doesn't want the missile fired, but then, without explanation, makes sure it happens.

Alvarez just happens to find a bomb lying on a shelf in the admiral's cabin so he can terrorize the ship.

They tap into the Atlantic cable and "London," whoever he is, answers.

There is not one, but two attacks by a giant octopus.

There is a stray old mine field in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

The only female crew member, the admiral's secretary, is openly the captain's girlfriend and calls him by his given name.

There are rock formations at 1000 feet or less in the Marianas trench.

A nuclear missile can be fired at the behest of a single person acting at will.

A research vessel carries such weapons at all.

The temperature outside is in excess of 170 degrees Faehrenheit and the crew sweats like it was a scene from South Pacific instead of just dying.

Peter Lorre plays a useless part I suppose just to have Peter Lorre in the cast (maybe Walter Pidgeon or the producer owed him a favor?)

It is never explained why in the scene with the admiral's cabin on fire there is "gas" coming from somewhere.

Everyone says "aye aye," when naval custome is just "aye."

A civilian visiting psychiatrist has access to and knows how to sabotage a nuclear reactor.

The shark eats the doctor but ignores the captain's arm dangling in the water.

In short, a laughable, cartoonish movie that could have been much better. Irwin Allen can be thought of as a more successful Ed Wood. I can just hear him saying, "we need a giant octopus scene; two would be better." Points: one out of ten because of lost potential.
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