Brenda Starr is based on a long-running comic strip of the same name that I vaguely recall years ago, when I got a newspaper and would turn to the funny pages for Calvin & Hobbes. (For you youngsters out there, newspapers are kind of like web sites . . . on paper!) A 20-year-old Brooke Shields plays Brenda Starr, and at this point of Brooke's career as an actress . . . she's a beautiful woman. We'll leave it at that.
We are introduced to Brenda as a cartoon being drawn by disgruntled cartoonist Mike (Tony Peck, son of Gregory, evidence that talent often skips a generation). In his studio, Mike goes on an anti-Brenda Starr rant directed at his own scribblings of Brenda, concluding with: "I wouldn't even draw you if I didn't need the dough!" In a development that made no sense at the time and makes less in retrospect, Brenda comes alive on the page in front of Mike and quits the comic strip: "I've had it! Who do you think you are? . . . Bug off, buster!" Brenda Starr transforms from animation to Brooke Shields and walks off panel and into her next adventure in live action, which is still happening in make-believe CartoonLand.
I'm not sure what law is preventing the artist from simply drawing the character on paper, but Mike is desperate to get Brenda "back" to save his job. I promise, I'm not making any of this up. Rather than consult a psychiatrist about the mental disorder preventing him from drawing an imaginary woman after she came alive, Mike feels he has to convince Brenda to "come back".
In CartoonLand, Brenda is a "star(r) reporter" for a struggling newspaper known as The Flash in post-World War II New York. She's your typical, chic, spunky gal reporter. Brenda's latest scoop involves a hunt for a former Nazi scientist who has invented super-duper fuel in the Amazon, and whoever gets their hand on the fuel will determine the fate of the world . . . though we know it's just a cartoon where the stakes don't matter.
Mike draws a representation of himself to the exact location where he and Brenda had their spat, precariously perched on the ledge of a tall building. Mike is physically inserted in CartoonLand! I hope you are taking notes, because there will be a test later.
During Mike's odyssey, he stops at a coffee shop where he picks up a paper, and finds a comic strip with his exploits depicted on it, "The Adventures of Mike." The strip shows Mike coming into the coffee shop and reading the paper and having an encounter with a gypsy, which happens moments after he reads that's it's going to happen. So the gag is that in CartoonLand the comic strip shows the antics of a real person.
Now, Mike is a real person currently in CartoonLand, so the idea is that there's a cartoon following a non-cartoon, unfunny cartoonist, but only while he's in CartoonLand, and this strip is capable of depicting events mere seconds from occurring.
Mike ends up tagging along on Brenda's epic scoop hunt. Along the way they encounter lame comedic villains in a group of Russians (including Jeffrey Tambor, who in later years would become funny) and a rival, evil, lady reporter Lips Lipscomb. Brenda is aided by the mysterious, be-eye-patched Basil (Timothy Dalton, poor, poor Timothy Dalton). Basil's purpose in the movie is never entirely clear and his contributions in the story could be replaced by a helpful cab driver.
Basil's presence does add a debonair character with an eye-patch and gives Timothy Dalton a chance to dress like Zorro (no, seriously).
There is a bizarre subplot about Basil's family requiring toxins from a rare orchid or else they'll go "insane before their time," which never comes to fruition. (Incidentally, is there a proper time to go insane? If so, witnessing Brenda Starr may be such an instance.) Basil and Mike vie for Brenda's love. All the while Mike is trying to convince Brenda to come back with him. Again, not to quibble over small details, but I had no clue what Mike means by getting Brenda to come back with him — she is a cartoon character after all, and he's a real person who draws cartoon characters.
Does Mike want Brenda — who he now is madly in love with — to come with him to the real world? If that's the case and assuming it's possible, she was never there, so it wouldn't be coming back, she'd be going there for the first flippin' time! If it meant what I think it does, that Brenda just returns to the comic she somehow walked out on, what matter of consent or participation is required of her? Ultimately, after all the shenanigans are through and Brenda has played the piano with President Truman (seriously), gone through about 813 outfit changes, thwarted multiple spy agencies, skied atop crocodile steeds (again, not a joke), and saved the newspaper, Brenda tells Mike she can't go back with him. This leads to the following conversation:
Mike: "You're not coming with me?" (Brenda shakes head) "At least I'll be able to see you when I draw you every day."
Brenda (smiling): "Only if you're nice."
Mike then somehow returns to the real world, and begins to draw Brenda, the only thing that has changed is that he no longer hates drawing Brenda Starr.
SO WHAT IN THE BLUE HADES DID MIKE NEED TO GO INTO THE FICTIONAL WORLD IN ORDER TO CONVINCE BRENDA TO RETURN WITH HIM? EVEN AFTER HE FAILED MISERABLY HE IS PERFECTLY ABLE TO DO EXACTLY WHAT HE NEEDED TO DO, DRAW A REDHEADED WOMAN ON PAPER! *sigh* Like I said, Brenda Starr is the dumbest movie I have ever seen.
We are introduced to Brenda as a cartoon being drawn by disgruntled cartoonist Mike (Tony Peck, son of Gregory, evidence that talent often skips a generation). In his studio, Mike goes on an anti-Brenda Starr rant directed at his own scribblings of Brenda, concluding with: "I wouldn't even draw you if I didn't need the dough!" In a development that made no sense at the time and makes less in retrospect, Brenda comes alive on the page in front of Mike and quits the comic strip: "I've had it! Who do you think you are? . . . Bug off, buster!" Brenda Starr transforms from animation to Brooke Shields and walks off panel and into her next adventure in live action, which is still happening in make-believe CartoonLand.
I'm not sure what law is preventing the artist from simply drawing the character on paper, but Mike is desperate to get Brenda "back" to save his job. I promise, I'm not making any of this up. Rather than consult a psychiatrist about the mental disorder preventing him from drawing an imaginary woman after she came alive, Mike feels he has to convince Brenda to "come back".
In CartoonLand, Brenda is a "star(r) reporter" for a struggling newspaper known as The Flash in post-World War II New York. She's your typical, chic, spunky gal reporter. Brenda's latest scoop involves a hunt for a former Nazi scientist who has invented super-duper fuel in the Amazon, and whoever gets their hand on the fuel will determine the fate of the world . . . though we know it's just a cartoon where the stakes don't matter.
Mike draws a representation of himself to the exact location where he and Brenda had their spat, precariously perched on the ledge of a tall building. Mike is physically inserted in CartoonLand! I hope you are taking notes, because there will be a test later.
During Mike's odyssey, he stops at a coffee shop where he picks up a paper, and finds a comic strip with his exploits depicted on it, "The Adventures of Mike." The strip shows Mike coming into the coffee shop and reading the paper and having an encounter with a gypsy, which happens moments after he reads that's it's going to happen. So the gag is that in CartoonLand the comic strip shows the antics of a real person.
Now, Mike is a real person currently in CartoonLand, so the idea is that there's a cartoon following a non-cartoon, unfunny cartoonist, but only while he's in CartoonLand, and this strip is capable of depicting events mere seconds from occurring.
Mike ends up tagging along on Brenda's epic scoop hunt. Along the way they encounter lame comedic villains in a group of Russians (including Jeffrey Tambor, who in later years would become funny) and a rival, evil, lady reporter Lips Lipscomb. Brenda is aided by the mysterious, be-eye-patched Basil (Timothy Dalton, poor, poor Timothy Dalton). Basil's purpose in the movie is never entirely clear and his contributions in the story could be replaced by a helpful cab driver.
Basil's presence does add a debonair character with an eye-patch and gives Timothy Dalton a chance to dress like Zorro (no, seriously).
There is a bizarre subplot about Basil's family requiring toxins from a rare orchid or else they'll go "insane before their time," which never comes to fruition. (Incidentally, is there a proper time to go insane? If so, witnessing Brenda Starr may be such an instance.) Basil and Mike vie for Brenda's love. All the while Mike is trying to convince Brenda to come back with him. Again, not to quibble over small details, but I had no clue what Mike means by getting Brenda to come back with him — she is a cartoon character after all, and he's a real person who draws cartoon characters.
Does Mike want Brenda — who he now is madly in love with — to come with him to the real world? If that's the case and assuming it's possible, she was never there, so it wouldn't be coming back, she'd be going there for the first flippin' time! If it meant what I think it does, that Brenda just returns to the comic she somehow walked out on, what matter of consent or participation is required of her? Ultimately, after all the shenanigans are through and Brenda has played the piano with President Truman (seriously), gone through about 813 outfit changes, thwarted multiple spy agencies, skied atop crocodile steeds (again, not a joke), and saved the newspaper, Brenda tells Mike she can't go back with him. This leads to the following conversation:
Mike: "You're not coming with me?" (Brenda shakes head) "At least I'll be able to see you when I draw you every day."
Brenda (smiling): "Only if you're nice."
Mike then somehow returns to the real world, and begins to draw Brenda, the only thing that has changed is that he no longer hates drawing Brenda Starr.
SO WHAT IN THE BLUE HADES DID MIKE NEED TO GO INTO THE FICTIONAL WORLD IN ORDER TO CONVINCE BRENDA TO RETURN WITH HIM? EVEN AFTER HE FAILED MISERABLY HE IS PERFECTLY ABLE TO DO EXACTLY WHAT HE NEEDED TO DO, DRAW A REDHEADED WOMAN ON PAPER! *sigh* Like I said, Brenda Starr is the dumbest movie I have ever seen.