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raul-71
Reviews
Heartless (2009)
Failed British faustian fairy-tale
Heartless is simply incomprehensible.
Although intriguing to begin with and supported by strong visuals, the narrative strays off from it's desire to be considered a British faustian fairy-tale and enters the realms of just not making sense. At times it's almost as if they movie we are watching is not actually the movie we are supposed to be seeing - all the narrative forward motion happens outside of the protagonists actions.
I am told that the director is a bit of a cult favorite but i really cannot understand why? Has someone recently changed the meaning of the word cult to crap?
In fact, i give up trying to find good in it... it's simply terrible.
The Fall (2006)
Gilliam parody?
A real stinker of a film. Shot over four years in eighteen countries... clearly someone's time could have been better spent. Visually the film is comparable to a painting, however take into account the film's lacklustre narrative and the film is more akin to watching paint dry.
Here we have a filmmaker who is has no interest in the purpose of film for storytelling; ironic since the film is intended to be a film about storytelling. I'd like to think that Tarsem has made The Fall a deliberately hollow piece of showboating in order to say something about the art form; but alas i think he was just out to massage his ego after the critical supernova that was The Cell.
Unfortunately the visuals do not drive the otherwise substandard Gilliam homage.
I implore you to avoid this title.
Hell Ride (2008)
It's not awful, but it is a pretty rough ride.
To say this movie is bad would be to simplify matters to the extreme and with the exception of Hell Ride's plot, nothing in this life is that simple.
So what's wrong with it exactly... Larry Bishop. The guy must have balls the size of two small dogs to think he could pull this off. Bikes, beer and booty makes for one great cocktail but bikes, beer, booty and bishop... not so good.
The story is interesting, the theme is great, the cast, characters and acting are over the top but welcome, hell, even the directing is good but Larry, why did you have to put yourself in it as the lead? Casting yourself as the lead is a step too far. This isn't going to get you any leading actor roles but will most certainly deem you to a life of character bit parts and walk ons. Larry successfully delivers some of the most ham-fisted dialogue in the most atrocious of displays of acting ever witnessed on celluloid. I can't even bring myself to disgust the batman-esq vocal shenanigans but it's poor.
I am beginning to meander almost as badly as this movie. So in a nutshell: Great cast, great concept, compelling direction, terrible, terrible lead acting.
The Hitcher (2007)
A lot of potential left by the side of the road
(There is one minor spoiler in this review)
Nothing can or will prepare you for the inanity of the choices made by the script writers with regards to this movie.
With the exception of a the girl gets dressed in car cliché in the first five minutes; the first half of this movie is a well constructed piece of entertainment that delivers on every level. The two protagonists carry the narrative in a highly believable execution, whilst Dave Meyers demonstrates his pedigree as one of music promos most prolific visualists.
At this point the film takes a wrong turn...
*spolier*
After the two teens are in police custody...
*spolier end*
...the movie drives towards the ridiculous. Instead of delivering on the common sense of the audience and building tension from there; the two protagonists are joined in making some stupendously dumb decisions as we are taken on a hellish ride in 'suspension of disbelief' by the backseat drivers know as... the writers. Instead of pulling us further into the drama, the writers force the two protagonists through a series of events which only serve to pull you further from the narrative that until now has been deeply engaging.
This blitzkrieg of errors in writing, results in movie goers leaving the theatre wondering if it was worth the drive to the cinema, whilst possibly contemplating how much fun it might be to have Sean Bean kill them in their cars as they return home, as not to endure the memories of such a poor movie going experience.
Writing aside, Sean Bean is perfect casting. The direction is aptly handled within the confines of a blundered script. The visuals are as endearing as any top spec music promo and there are a few good set-pieces to take note of despite the mouth watering suggestion of a possibly gory cut.
The original was no Dodge Charger but comparatively... leaves this one as road kill.
PS. Mr Meyers, if i were a man of money i would give you the cash to fix the latter half of the film, as i think this was a diamond lost in the rough.
Rest Stop (2006)
This is movie AIDS.
Under no circumstances watch this film. It is terrible for a number of reasons:
No plot No structure No direction No acting to speak of No visual style No tension
In a word - no.
Best thing about it the box and the fact it eventually ends. Who would have thought 85mins could feel so long.
Once again: Under no circumstances watch this film. It is terrible.
No plot No structure No direction No acting to speak of No visual style No tension
In a word - no.
Best thing about it the box and the fact it eventually ends. Who would have thought 85mins could feel so long.