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The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
Better than anticipated
After hearing negative opinions about "The Rings of Power", my expectations were low. Thankfully it was much better than I anticipated. It is beautiful, the soundtrack is very nice, and the acting is not terrible.
The weak link is that there are numerous storylines coalescing, and one of them (Galadrel's) is not fleshed out enough, causing the character to come across as a petulant child.
Galadriel's fears that the evil in the land was not vanquished, and will return, is based on flimsy evidence. Despite this, she singlehandedly motivates Numenor to sail to Middle Earth to "fight alongside the elves again", as if the elves are ready to fight something, as if she can speak on behalf of the elves, and as if there was concrete evidence to justify her fears. Her plotline moved far too quickly.
I'm looking forward to the second season.
Foundation (2021)
What have you done.
The creators of the Foundation television series have butchered the story and they should be ashamed of themselves.
It was obvious right away that they were going to be taking a lot of liberties with the story, but I tried to give it a chance because I've been waiting for it for so long.
This series has zero resemblance to the source material, and this is a huge problem. Certain key elements are important for setting the stage for things that take place much later in the story.
Not only is this small part of the grand story butchered, the choices that were made in creating this series have sabotaged the ability for the creators of the show to make any future content that resembles the source material.
Vikings (2013)
Strategic mistake
This show declined a bit after Ragnar and Athelstan's deaths. Floki was an interesting character until Ragnar's death, then his character started floundering. Some of the rest of the cast were fine in minor roles, but are not as strong in the spotlight.
9 stars for the show prior to Ragnar and Athelstan's deaths.
The 13th Warrior (1999)
Antonio Banderas's best film
This movie never gets old. I've watched it at least a few dozen times over the years.
There is only one thing that bothers me about this movie. The "Eaters of the Dead" have many horses, and their home is not very far from the Viking settlement. The horses would need to graze, and that many would be almost impossible to keep hidden from anyone within a wide radius of their cave. It would certainly be impossible to keep them hidden for a long time. If they were to keep them in the cave 24/7 and bring them food, they'd be weak, tired beasts and not suitable for riding into battle. This is easy to overlook because the movie is fantastic.
I love the atmosphere, the meeting of ancient cultures, the way that they learn from each other, their interactions and character development. Historical fiction is my favourite genre so I am definitely biased, but this movie is a gem and I highly recommend it.
The Blacklist (2013)
Scraping the bottom of the barrel
This show started annoying me right away, it was difficult to make it through the first season, so I put it on hold until I watched everything else on my watchlist. Now that I've gotten around to putting myself through the rest of the episodes, I can review it properly.
The concept of the show is good. Most of the acting is ok. Some of the actors are actually quite good.
The weakness of the show is twofold.
The writing/script is lazy, often far too implausible, putting people in exactly the right place at the right time too often, and all sorts of other laziness. For example, a young girl runs out of a forest onto a road and a semi truck stops on a dime a few inches from her. No. No. NO. This doesn't happen in real life and there are too many examples like this.
In one episode, Reddington shows up at exactly the right place at exactly the right time in the middle of nowhere to save the day, which was implausible in itself, but then things turn sour, and Dembe shows up at exactly the right time to save Reddington. This is after Dembe had been written out of the show for several episodes. Both Red's and Dembe's fortuitous arrivals to "save the day" all happened within a few minutes. The show is full of this nonsense.
Another example, the FBI team's tech wizard realizes that they're being followed because of a tracker in a business card, and pulls over to the side of the road (across the road into oncoming traffic no less) to pull it out of his pocket and discuss the matter. Why does he pull over in order to have a conversation about why their pursuers are hot on their heels? WHY? Why not just throw the damn thing out the window as they're driving? This lazy and silly writing is commonplace in this show.
In another instance, the Assistant Director of the FBI is being held at gunpoint and the ceiling just randomly falls in, pinning his captor, who then begs him to help. Instead of securing the weapon on the ground that is just out of reach of the person who had been holding him at gunpoint, he immediately lifts the cement piece crushing his legs, and his captor retrieves the gun and resumes holding him at gunpoint. WHY? This is silly and incredible.
It seems like most of the episodes were hastily scribbled down over drinks in 20-30 minutes by people who have no grasp of how basic things work, and not even a shred of common sense.
The second problem with the show is Elizabeth. Her character is a braindead idiot, and a character who is this stupid is not a credible FBI profiler. She is putting people's lives in danger constantly for the sake of satiating her curiosity, and when she finally does find some answers, she behaves like a giddy schoolgirl, running to the person who she knows didn't want her to know, expecting that people around her should be happy that she is "ok" with all of it. Elizabeth's character is so awful that I found myself cursing constantly when she was on the screen, cursing her character, cursing everything she does. I was relieved for a few episodes when I thought that they killed her off. The show was better without her.
I've been scraping the bottom of the barrel for something to watch, or else I would never put myself through this show, which is a shame, because most of the acting is fine.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Finally, the end of the angry emo kid "super villain"
Kylo Ren is one of the worst "super villains" to ever appear on screen. He's an angry emo kid and his lightsabre is dumb. A sword with two little prongs of light as the handguard? No. Not even remotely believable.
Star Wars is a fun franchise and I hope that it doesn't end anytime soon but I am glad to say goodbye to this silly brat.
Atomic Blonde (2017)
It could have been slightly more polished.
There is one moment in this film that is so poorly filmed that it is almost unforgiveable. Immediately before Sofia Boutella's character is killed, she is standing in her apartment for a few seconds with microexpressions on her face as if she has her head on the chopping block waiting for an ax. After 2-3 seconds of this, her killer comes up behind her and garrotes her.
This scene deserved another take.
One other scene is awful for other reasons.
McAvoy's character shouts "The shop is open! Money is good. Information is better!" in a large crowded room full of people. Someone then immediately approaches him to trade some photos for a bottle of liquor. This seems completely ludicrous.
These problems don't ruin the film, it is an entertaining action movie.
The Mummy (2017)
Trying to build a universe too quickly
My impression was that it is trying to cram too much together too quickly, I can only assume it was an attempt to recreate the commercial success of the MCU.
The movie is not terribly bad, it was not difficult to sit through it.
Arrested Development (2003)
10 stars for the first three seasons
This is an amazing show. I have seen all of the episodes of the first three seasons numerous times. After the first three seasons, the show declined a little bit, lost some of its energy.
Holmes & Watson (2018)
awful, awful trash
This is one of the worst movies that I have ever seen in my life. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a film that is more awful than this trash. It would have required an enormous amount of audacity to put this into a theatre and ask for people's hard earned money.
The Mission (1986)
Catholic propaganda film
This movie feels like catholic propaganda.
The Catholics were brutal, and condoned slavery in that era. The Spanish proclamation to the aboriginals in South America was horrific, proclaiming that the Catholic church had donated the lands to the King and Queen of Spain, and that anyone who would not submit, both to Spain and to the Catholic church, would be either killed or enslaved.
They then proceeded to do exactly that, mass-murdering and enslaving the natives.
If you can get past that, it is a powerful movie. I enjoyed it.
Tombstone (1993)
Val Kilmer rocked it
As a general rule, I'm not a big fan of Westerns. There are a few exceptions and this is one of them. Most notably, Val Kilmer did a fantastic job in his role.
"My hypocrisy only goes so far". Loved it.
Rome (2005)
One of the best shows of all time
This show is excellent from start to finish. It is the only show that I loved so much that I rushed out to buy the box-set. The acting, all of the casting, the story and character development, the sets, everything was superb. The only point against it is that it ended too soon, it should have been renewed for a few more seasons.
Lost in Space (2018)
ugh
The mother (Maureen) has such a bad attitude that it almost made this show unwatchable, almost every single scene that she is in made me cringe. It was difficult to watch all of the first season and I did not take the time to watch the next two seasons.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand (2010)
It has been some years since I watched it...
It has been a while since I watched this, I remember being blown away with the first season. The second and third seasons were not as enjoyable as the first. Andy Whitfield was a tough act to follow. RIP.
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
10 stars for the "Director's Cut"
The Director's Cut is excellent, fills in some plot holes, fleshes things out. If I were to rate the theatrical version, I'd give it 6 or 7 stars.
Total Recall (2012)
Was a fan of the original. This is better.
The original was always one of my favourite films back in the day, and I still watch it once in a while. This was a worthy remake, I like it much more than the original. Thoroughly enjoyable movie, fun to watch, and Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale are both lovely.
The Pillars of the Earth (2010)
Enjoyable nostalgia
This is based on my all-time favourite book. I can remember being disappointed when I first watched it in 2010, because it deviated from the book more than I expected it to.
My disappointment was so great that I took the time to email Mr Follett to express my frustration. I've only ever contacted an author twice in my life - once to congratulate Mr Follett for writing "Pillars of the Earth", and once to criticize this series.
After watching it again recently, I was much more forgiving of the deviations. It is not bad.
Game of Thrones (2011)
would be 10/10 if it weren't for the last season
This show started feeling rushed at the end. It was excellent, a worldwide phenomenon, and for some reason they changed the pace and style in the last season, and ruined a good thing.
Giving it 8 stars because it was one of the best shows that I've seen in a long time, but it could easily have earned 10 stars if the last season was done right.
Stargate Origins (2018)
This was painful to watch.
Stargate SG-1 was fun to watch.
Stargate Atlantis was fun to watch.
Stargate Universe took a while to start getting interesting, but was very good.
Stargate Origins made a mockery of the franchise.
The New Legends of Monkey (2018)
It has a few moments.
There are a few redeeming moments. It is mostly awful, the quality is about what you'd expect from a bunch of high school kids making a film for fun, without a budget, with volunteers who have very little acting experience. That said, it is not painful to watch if you're bored and have already watched everything else in your queue.
Edit: It did start getting a little bit better about halfway through the first season.