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One Piece (2023)
One Giant Piece Of TRASH
I wanted this to be more like Kung Fu Hustle or Hook, but it really didn't feel like the director had a clear vision for the final product. It feels more like a broadway play, with poor direction, cheesy dialogue and over-acting. Like many other manga to live action attempts, it really misses the mark and is riddled with plot holes as they desperately try to squeeze five episodes into one and take zero chances at veering away from the anime in fear of upsetting the fans. The cheesy music and dialogue mixed with violence was confusing, I couldn't tell if this was meant for adults or kids? If something is going to to be sooo unbearably tacky, they should have picked a lane and really ramped up the violence or put more effort into the script. Really stupid and definitely DOES NOT BREAK THE CURSE of all anime live actions being terrible. This one is absolute trash and not the exception.
Avengement (2019)
Re-load that double barrel Cain!
Bloody good fun, but Cain, my man, you only had two shells in that double barrel sawed off. One warning shot in the ceiling and the other in that guys foot. Any real "gangster" would know that you're empty and run at you. We need that re-load shot for it to be convincing. I hate when movies forget this. Pretty much ruined the movie for me. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. Bummer.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Felt cheap and disorganized
Where to start... this was just a dumpster fire. It felt like a B-movie that a student film maker made on a shoestring budget, but with zero vision. The special effects were poorly rendered and the makeup "head gear/body gadgets" looked like foam steam punk art that had been glued onto the actors. The sound design and cinematography were poorly orchestrated, and just felt like the director had zero vision or control over the film. Avoid and don't waste your time.
Head Count (2018)
Some things are just better left to the imagination
This is a message for all Indie horror filmmakers. We all remember what went wrong with M. Night Shamalan's "Signs" Right? - A suspenseful story with an escalating plot that has you hooked and waiting for the big conclusion and then... a cheap, poorly designed CGI creature pops out and takes the wind out of your sails and ruins the whole movie. THIS is exactly the same mistake the filmmakers have made with "Head Count." JUST LEAVE IT OUT. If you can't afford to hire top artists for your creature, just find a better solution, or don't reveal it at all. This goes for both the creature's design, how its lit within the scene, as well as for how it's animated. Do you think Blair Witch would have been as successful if at the end there was some hairy CGI witch thing? NO! It's because they knew it would be corny (or couldn't afford it) and decided to find a more creative solution. Films are insanely expensive to make, especially for tight budget independent projects, so please, if you have a creature written into that script, make sure it doesn't disappoint.
The Little Things (2021)
Falls Flat
I think the studio would have had more audience impact if they had kept the suspects identity secret like they did in Se7en. They made the mistake of exposing Jared Leto in the previews due to his big name, and I personally think it hurt the film. Even though the film ends ambiguously, I think this would have created more engagement for me. It was also really hard for me to accept Rami Malek as a homicide detective or the family-man type. Denzel was just being Denzel. Interesting message and conclusion overall, it just felt like it tried too hard and didn't quite leave me fulfilled.
Eli (2019)
Lacked vision but still enjoyable.
It's worth a watch if you're a horror fan, but it didn't quite come together as well as it could have. I liked the concept. It's basically if Bubble Boy and Rose Mary's baby had a baby, this would be it. Mix in a little of The Orphanage. I think if the casting for the Eli character and the overall direction would have been more refined, this film could have been great, but it just fell short a bit. I've definitely seen worse though.
Polar (2019)
Blood, bullets, sex and awesome.
All that is good is here. If you liked Wanted or John Wick, then you'll like this movie. You won't see this nominated for an Oscar and you've probably watched something like this before but, whatever it was you loved it - this is one of those movies. Definitely a "Manly" movie that checks all the boxes.
Frankenstein (2015)
It's what you expected...
Not great. Some good actors, but too many flaws in logic that kills the emotional effect. Some bad writing, bad directing decisions... I'd avoid and see what else is on.
Channel Zero (2016)
BORING
It's boring. Nothing scary. If you don't watch a lot of horror, you might think this is scary. For someone that has seen just about every horror movie out there, I was constantly pausing and checking social media out of pure boredom. I don't know. I just couldn't get into it.
Insidious (2010)
Why didn't she just take care of it?
So this guy moves his family into an AMAZING Arts & Crafts period house (which is completely unattainable under a million) , letting his wife stay at home writing her "music" and taking care of the kids while he works. Then, she suddenly starts giving him grief over seeing "spirits." Give me a God damn break Karen, just take care of it. Dalton is going through puberty, he's gonna start seeing some things. Just set up some flood lights in his room, keep a shotgun by the bed, I've got papers to grade.
Insidious (2010)
Why didn't she just take care of it?
So this guy moves his family into an AMAZING Arts & Crafts period house (which is completely unattainable under a million) , letting his wife stay at home writing her "music" and taking care of the kids while he works. Then, she suddenly starts giving him grief over seeing "spirits." Give me a God damn break Karen, just take care of it. Dalton is going through puberty, he's gonna start seeing some things. Just set up some flood lights in his room, keep a shotgun by the bed, I've got papers to grade.
The Collection (2012)
Arkin you beast!
Going in for a second fun house ride, Arkin returns as he faces off with the collector AGAIN. I don't know if that team is supposed to be navy seals, but if they are, they aren't very good. I love this series, love the gore and love the killer. This guy got away with setting up sophisticated traps in a night club! What!?! Then rented a mansion where he's obviously been killing people for 20+ years without anyone noticing and still able to pay rent. I can't help but thinking about him signing the lease agreement. Gotta love it. I've seen WAY worse within this genre, there's definitely continuity gaps and flaws, but I still enjoyed it.
La noche del virgen (2016)
Weirdest film I've seen in a while.
Disgusting, weird, and insane. I think it's intended to be artsy but I couldn't really establish a metaphor for what I just watched. At the end you're just kinda frozen and wanting a shower.
Haunted (2018)
Watch 'True Horror' instead
I know this is a Netflix original, but it's not as good as Shudder's British mini-series 'True Horror." Same exact concept, but those guys just did it better. Watch both and come to your own conclusion. So far though, my vote goes to True Horror. Better directing with the re-enactments and none of their friends are sitting around in set designed 'spooky rooms' nodding their heads. Bad decision on whoever's idea that was. True Horror guys, look it up and watch it.
Halloween (2018)
Underwhelming and disappointing
If you're expecting a new fresh take on this tiresome franchise, you won't get it with this installment. It's unfortunate to say that this movie brings nothing new to the table and leaves you shaking your head with disappointment all the way to your car. I was really hoping for something along the lines of what Fede Alvarez did with the Evil Dead franchise but Halloween 2018 fell flat in both story as well as style.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Not life changing but good.
The only fault in this mini series are some of the child actors, but that is fairly typical. Other than that, I really liked the writing and overall show. It definitely had some great creepy moments, some jump scares, and in the end I cared about the characters. One user reviewed it as a family drama, and I would second that. But aren't most ghost stories?
Ghost Stories (2017)
Fun not scary though
I liked it in the fun sense for those that have seen fun horror attempts. It won't keep you up at night but it isn't bad either. Not really memorable like the exorcist or Hereditary or anything world changing. But a fun afternoon watch. If you've seen it all, like me, give it a go.
True Horror (2018)
Effective and tasteful.
We've all seen shows like this. Real ghost stories with crappy dramatizations, bad acting, bad effects. This one is different.
I feel like this mini series finally delivered the "true horror stories told by real people" in the way we've always wanted them delivered.
Give it a chance.
Hereditary (2018)
Best I've seen this year.
This is for those that really follow horror, it's worth a full watch. It's the best I've seen since The Witch and further emphasizes a new future in this genre. If you liked The Purge or Saw series, just go home and finish watching the bachelor. Horror fans and cinephiles alike, do yourself a favor and watch this in a dark room with no noise distractions. You'll get the shivers in a way you haven't had before.
The 50 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen (2014)
It desperately needs an update....
An actual worth while list of horror movies
I know this looks like someone just trying to post their favorite horror movies, but I would really encourage anyone that loves horror to check out my list. I won't say anything more.
Nine Lives (2016)
Terrible.
Another talking animal movie? Awful ending to a career. When you're so desperate for roles that you take on a movie like this, you know it's the end. Kevin Spacey has made some great films in the past but this really was a bad decision. I'll just forget this happened...
M.F.A. (2017)
Doesn't come close to I Spit On Your Grave.
I wanted this film to be more brutal and just better than I Spit On Your Grave, but it wasn't. Mediocre, not that great, just move on.
Power Rangers (2017)
Sooooooooooo bad
Worst "super hero" attempt since Wonder Woman. The script is the key people!!!! Figure it out than make the movie. So embarrassing.
Ghostbusters (2016)
A high budget SNL skit.
There's some movies that you just don't re-boot and this classic was one of them. The special effects team did a great job, but it truly was an SNL skit on steroids. Everything from the cast to the exaggerated humor and delivery. It felt like a Feminist SNL circle jerk. AVOID.
Wonder Woman (2017)
A laughable mess in slow motion
I'm definitely the minority here, but I can't get over the fact that this film is rated higher than films like Enter the Void, Moonlight, The Kings Speech, Spotlight and sooo many other much better films. The critics took the money on this one and ran.
To me, this film was cheesy, campy, and completely missed the mark. The ridiculous costume that is clearly symbolic for America ( there's clearly a fuc*ing gold eagle on her chest and it's red white and blue), yet she hails from Greece and calls herself an Amazonian God - WTF?!! AMAZONIAN!?!?!? I was so confused. Then, there is an American who is a British Spy (huh?) Most of the German Nazis speak with British accents and she can deflect bullets yet she loses her hearing to explosions.... I'm sorry, but I just could not get past this to enjoy the film. As an origin story, it's completely ludicrous. Maybe it worked back when the comic was written, but today it just comes off as a desperate attempt to pry the money from people that want to be viewed as politically correct. If you study film and take movies seriously, you should avoid a visit to the theater for this one. Watch it at home for free and make your own opinion, but I can see this media-con being laughable in 20 years.