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Reviews
The Thin Red Line (1998)
WORST WAR MOVIE EVER!!!! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!!!
If you want to see nice cinematography of a jungle, rain drops, water, and plants, this movie is for you. If you want to sit through hours of narrative poetry about the meaning of life, this movie is for you. If you want to go to sleep, but are having a hard time doing so, this movie is for you. If you want to see a war movie with action and realism, then rent SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, FULL METAL JACKET or PLATOON. THIN RED LINE is NOT a war movie. There are a few battle scenes, but very few. The majority of the movie is narrations of poetry that each soldier is thinking or writing. There is a huge portion of the movie about one soldier narrating the poetry/letters he writes to his wife. It goes on for endless hours showing flashback scenes of him and her in a dark room with the window open and the curtain blowing while they are having sex. Then, after hours of watching and listening to this dreadful sappy crap, he reads a letter he gets from his wife that says she's leaving him and re-marrying. This was a huge bore and a waste of money. I almost left the theater but stayed because I was hoping for some juicy war stuff to take place. I guess I just couldn't believe that a movie advertised as a war movie would simply read poetry for 3 hours!!! Don't expect to see much of the stars that they advertised were so prevalent in the film. Woody Harrelson is in it for a few minutes, Travolta's part is almost non-existent as well as Cusack's. George Clooneys role is almost like he was just an extra in the film. I believe they threw these guys in there because they needed some box office attraction. If you want to see a Private Ryan type war movie, this is not it. This is NOT a war movie. This is just 3 hours of boring poetry and pretty pictures of plants, trees and rain drops.
Cuori in campo (1998)
So bad it is funny!
This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It is written so poorly that I couldn't stop laughing. I am going to purchase it on video because it was so bad that it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The only recognizable cast member is the guy who played "Paulie" in the rocky movies. He plays a soccer coach in this movie which is funny in and of itself. On top of that, his workout technique is to wave a sledgehammer around. There are so many different plots in this movie that its almost like the writer stole bits and pieces from every movie ever made.