- [Adrian's friends are ribbing him after his audition for the school play]
- Nigel: How can you be in a play with a voice like yours?
- Adrian Mole: What about my voice?
- Nigel: Well, one minute it's all boomin' 'n loud, like Ian Paisley's, and next it's all shrill and shrieky, like - like Maggie Thatcher's was before she had voice lessons from that advertising agency. Hey, go on, Moley, how much'll ya give me not to let on to Ms Fossington-Gore that one of her actors has chronically unreliable vocal cords!
- Adrian Mole: Bugger off!
- Pandora: Language, Adrian!
- Nigel: Or is it... Adri-ann-na!