- Pat Pitsenbarger: I'm surprised you still remember me.
- Sue: Who could forget the Liberace of Sandusky?
- Pat Pitsenbarger: Was I that butch?
- Pat Pitsenbarger: Erma won't mind?
- Ro Ro: No baby. Erma's dead.
- Pat Pitsenbarger: [looking in the mirror wearing Erma's hat] Erma don't miss shit!
- [the ladies in the salon laugh hysterically]
- Nurse: Sir, you sustained a serious head injury. Please get back in your room.
- Pat Pitsenbarger: I'm late for my funeral.
- Dee Dee Dale: She's a real hot mess in there. Total resting bitch face.
- Pat Pitsenbarger: Resting dead bitch face.
- Pat Pitsenbarger: In death, Rita remembered that she had taste.
- Dee Dee Dale: Taste or dementia? You decide.
- Eunice: You don't tell someone in the goddamn nursing home their house has been demolished. it's bad etiquette.