Mork & Mindy (TV Series)

Mork Goes Erk (1979)

Tom Poston: Mr. Bickley

Quotes 

• Susan : ERK teaches you how to love yourself.

  Franklin Delano Bickley : I bet you got an A.

  Susan : A+!

• Franklin Delano Bickley : I was blaming it on you, but it's time I faced it. I've lost it.

  Mork : Well, we can form a posse and find it, if you want!

  Franklin Delano Bickley : [glares at him]  No, it's no use. They say your sympathy is the first thing to go. I used to be able to get tears out of a coat rack. Not anymore. Listen to this: "Your pet rabbit died / Poor little Muffet! / Your two choices are: / Eat it or stuff it."

  [Mork thinks a real rabbit has died] 

  Mork : Aw, that's sad!

• Mindy McConnell : Mr. Bickley, you're just going through a writer's slump. Mork is leaving for good!

  Franklin Delano Bickley : Look, sister, Little Muffet ain't coming back, either.

  Mork : Oh. None of us has a reason to be happy now.

  Franklin Delano Bickley : [helping himself to their drinks]  I'll drink to that.

  [Susan bursts through the door, all smiles] 

  Susan : Knock, knock, knock!

  [Her smile fades. Mork is slumped over, rubbing his ear. Mindy is slumped over, shading her eyes because of tears. Bickley is leaning on the counter, burying himself in a drink] 

  Susan : Well, what a group. Hear No Evil, See No Evil, and Feel No Pain. What's wrong with you people?

  Franklin Delano Bickley : I've lost my talent.

  Mindy McConnell : Mork is leaving.

  Mork : The rabbit died.

• Susan : You people have got to get ERK!

  Franklin Delano Bickley : You've been irking me since you came in.

  Susan : Mindy, listen. ERK would help you with your depression. And Mr. Bickley, you know, you could use some help with your drinking.

  Franklin Delano Bickley : I drink fine by myself.

  Susan : Oh, and Mork, I bet he could come up with something for you.

  Mork : Yeah. That sounds exciting. Come on, Mindy!

  [taking her hands and leaping up] 

  Mork : Let's not poop the party!