I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

Basic Alan (1997)

Felicity Montagu: Lynn Benfield

Quotes 

• Lynn Benfield : [entering Alan's room after he caught her joining in with the hotel staff making fun of him]  Would you like a mint?

  Alan Partridge : No.

  [pause] 

  Alan Partridge : Yes.

  [Lynn gives him a mint and has one herself] 

  Alan Partridge : I don't think you should have one, Lynn. Considering what's happened.

  [Lynn meekly talks the mint out of her mouth] 

  Alan Partridge : I tell you, it's a good job you weren't here 5 minutes ago. Listen to this. Listen, listen.

  [he picks up a dictaphone and presses play] 

  Alan Partridge : [recorded voice on the dictaphone]  Sack Lynn for being unloyal - disloyal. And for joining in fun in a way that excludes her employer. And sack her for being an absolute idiot and inefficient. Lynn, can you call Bill Oddie and...

  [Alan switches off the dictaphone] 

  Alan Partridge : That's something else. It fell through.

• Lynn Benfield : Why don't you come down and play then?

  Alan Partridge : Play? Lynn, they were doing impersonations of me.

  Lynn Benfield : Well, they were doing impersonations of everyone, Alan. Even me. It was quite savage.

  Alan Partridge : Were they really savage? Were they going...

  [he hunches over and mimes holding a handbag] 

  Alan Partridge : "Ooh, shall I sit there? Ooh, shall I sit there? Ooh, I'm like a little mouse!"

  Lynn Benfield : [getting a bit cross]  No, actually, it was a little bit like this: "Shall I let you walk all over me? Sorry, mother, can't get you out of the bath, I've got to pop down to Linton Travel Tavern to sort out Alan's problems!"

  Alan Partridge : That's very good.

  Lynn Benfield : [smiles]  Thank you.