Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
Josh Lucas: Jake Perry
Photos
Quotes
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Jake : Honey, just cuz I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid.
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Jake : [not recognizing Melanie in her sunglasses] Can I help you?
Melanie Carmichael : Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
Jake : You're shittin' me, right?
Melanie Carmichael : I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not "shitting" you.
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Melanie Carmichael : Hi honey! Looking good! How's the family?
Jake : Cut the shit! Where's my stuff?
Melanie Carmichael : Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?
Jake : The kind that don't live here! Now I'm gonna ask you one last time, where is the hide-a-key?
Melanie Carmichael : I had the sweetest talk with Wade's mama about her tractor.
Jake : Nice to see you got your accent back.
Melanie Carmichael : Oh, I stubbled across a few things today.
Jake : Holy shit, what happened to the stove? Oh and where are them little magnets I had over here huh? What the hell is this? Chick food?
Melanie Carmichael : Light beer. Less calories. I tried to pick out a new bed but have you been to the Sit and Sleep lately? Yuck. I suppose I'll just have to order something from New York.
Jake : Whatever blows your dress up darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Melanie Carmichael : Oh but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as our money? Just a guess, but I'm thinking the words "joint checking" are flashing into your head right now?
Jake : How much did you take?
Melanie Carmichael : All of it!
Jake : Son of a bitch!
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Jake : You show up here, after seven years, without so much as a "Hey there, Jake, remember me... your wife!" Or a, "Hi honey, lookin' good. How's the family?"
Melanie Carmichael : You expect me to tell you look good? What, did they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?
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Melanie Carmichael : [of Bryant the dog] Can he swim?
Jake : Doesn't look like it.
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Jake : Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?
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Wade : [breaking up Melanie and Jake's kiss in the rain] What the hell are you two tryin' to do... get yourselves killed?
Melanie Carmichael : What seems to be the trouble, officer?
Wade : I'm here to bring you in, young lady!
Jake : What did she do this time?
Wade : Well, the way I hear it... seems she run out on a perfectly good cake!
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Jake : The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.
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Jake : [after looking at divorce papers] I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know.
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Jake : Anybody think of anything in here that, uh, might bother Bobby Ray?
Wade : Uh, Clinton's breath.
Jake : You still the same Bobby Ray from last night?
Bobby Ray : Last time I checked, yeah.
Jake : [puts arm on shoulder] Well, then, let me buy you a drink.
Bobby Ray : Well, you're really not my type, I mean...
[laughter]
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Jake : C'mon, I wanna show you something.
Melanie Carmichael : I can't.
Jake : Can't? Or won't?
Melanie Carmichael : Both.
Jake : The girl I knew used to be fearless.
Melanie Carmichael : The girl you knew didn't have a life.
Jake : Guess you better get on with it then.
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Melanie Carmichael : And don't even pretend like you missed me.
Jake : Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.
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Melanie Carmichael : [gets up to leave] Jake, I can't do this.
Jake : [grabs her arm so she faces him] I know.
[they kiss]
Jake : [eventually pulling away] Go home, Mel.
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Wade : The law is the law and she has done nothing wrong.
Jake : I supposed shoplifting steaks from Winn Dixie's okay?
Melanie Carmichael : Oh, Oh! I took 'em back and you know it!
Jake : What about that incident of vandalism in the stockyard... totally her!
Melanie Carmichael : Like I could tip a cow... by myself!
Jake : Wade, isn't there some outstanding warrant for whoever drove your mama's tractor into the fishing pond?
Melanie Carmichael : [horrified realizing what he meant] OH!
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Jake : [seeing Andrew walking up to the Carmichael house where Bobby Ray is currently at] You, uh, you here to see Bobby Ray?
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Jake : You can't have roots and wings.
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Jake : I needed to make somethin' of myself.
Melanie Carmichael : About done?