Liar Liar (1997)
Justin Cooper: Max Reede
Photos
Quotes
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Max Reede : My teacher tells me real beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher Reede : That's just something ugly people say.
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Max Reede : Is wrestling real?
Fletcher Reede : In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no.
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Max Reede : If I keep making this face... will it get stuck that way?
Fletcher Reede : Nuh-uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.
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Max Reede : [voiceover, before blowing out his birthday candles] I wish, that for only one day, Dad couldn't tell a lie.
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Max Reede : Do the Claw to Mom, Dad! Do the Claw to Mom!
Fletcher Reede : Uh-oh. You've found the Claw's only weakness. Subzero temperatures!
[Splatting sound]
Audrey Reede : [sarcastically] So did you have any trouble finding the place?
Fletcher Reede : All right, I'm late. I ran outta gas! The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too. Good thing I was wearing neutral gang colors. Might've had to rip out my nine and bust a cap! My mind on my money and my money on my mind!
Audrey Reede : They'd never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer.
Fletcher Reede : Ooh. That was below the belt. Try to keep the gloves up.
Max Reede : Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling!
Audrey Reede : Ugh. Fletcher!
Fletcher Reede : Ugh. Audrey!
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Fletcher Reede : Max! It's 8:45, you made the wish at 8:15. I've been able to lie for the past half hour.
Max Reede : So you were - ?
Fletcher Reede : No! It was the truth. I just wanted to be honest with you, Max. I always want to be honest with you.
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[the lights turn on after Max makes a wish and blows out the candles]
Max Reede : Mom? Dad?
[Audrey and Fletcher are kissing. After they break away, they look at each other in surprise]
Fletcher Reede : [suspiciously] MAX? Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again?
Max Reede : No. I wished for rollerblades!
Audrey Reede : [awkwardly, to Fletcher] Uh... wanna cut the cake... Dad?
Fletcher Reede : I would love to... but I have this horrible pain in my arm...
Audrey Reede : Oh no... run, IT'S THE CLAW!
Fletcher Reede : NOTHING CAN STOP THE CLAWWWW!
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Fletcher Reede : Hey, creepy. Happy birthday. How old are you now? 22? 23?
Max Reede : I'm 5, Dad.
Fletcher Reede : Okay.
[pretends to write]
Fletcher Reede : Return the beer keg. Cancel the dancing girls.
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Fletcher Reede : Maximus, I'm outta here.
Max Reede : Bye, Dad.
Fletcher Reede : [to Jerry] Jerry, enjoy my wife.
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Max Reede : Mom, Dad's takin' me to see wrestling!
Audrey Reede : Ugh! Fletcher!
Fletcher Reede : Ugh! Audrey!
Audrey Reede : Well, why do you have to take him to see that stuff? It's very violent!
Fletcher Reede : The boy must grow to be a warrior!
[Both grimace and grunt]
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Ms. Berry : Today we're going to talk about what our parents do for work.
Little Girl : My mommy is a doctor.
Little Boy : My daddy is a truck driver.
Max Reede : Well my mom's a teacher.
Ms. Berry : And your dad?
Max Reede : My dad he's a liar.
Ms. Berry : A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.
Max Reede : Well he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Ms. Berry : Oh I see. You mean he's a lawyer.
[Max shrugs his shoulders in a yeah whatever mood]
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Fletcher Reede : [outside of Max's school] See, Max, I have to lie. Everybody lies. Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies.
Max Reede : But you're the only one who makes me feel bad.
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Fletcher Reede : [after Fletcher steals a flight of stairs and gets injured at the airport, Audrey comes over to check on him] Audrey!
Audrey Reede : Fletcher!
Fletcher Reede : Great news! Both my legs are broken so they can't take me right to jail.
Audrey Reede : Fletcher, what were you doing? Are you out of your mind?
Fletcher Reede : [sits up] No! I'm thinking clear. I've NEVER been this clear.
Max Reede : [approaches] Dad?
Fletcher Reede : [smiles] Creep. I was getting kind of upset.
Max Reede : Are you all right?
Fletcher Reede : Yeah.
[points to his heart]
Fletcher Reede : But I'm hurting here though. I'm a dope, Max. All this time you've been here and I could see you anytime I felt like it but I didn't. Then your mom told me you were moving to Boston and I started thinking. I could be sitting around sometime; I wanna look at you and hold you and play with you. And I wanna be able to. I don't think I'm gonna do too well with that. I love you more than anything else in the world, Max. And you know it's true! I couldn't say it if it wasn't true. Not today. I love you. And I'll NEVER hurt you again.
[gently wipes a tear off Max's cheek with his thumb]
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Fletcher Reede : [asking Max to undo his birthday wish] Now, do whatever you did last night, only this time, make it an unwish.
Max Reede : [blowing the candle on the cake out] I did it.
Fletcher Reede : Excellent! Now I just need a little test.
[seeing an attractive teacher nearby, he goes over to talk to her, and she promptly slaps him in the face]
Max Reede : [he comes back] Did it work?
Fletcher Reede : Not like I'd hoped. Did you unwish it?
Max Reede : [nodding] Only...
Fletcher Reede : What? Only what?
Max Reede : Yesterday, when I wished it, I really meant it. This time when I unwished it, I only did it 'cause you told me to.
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Max Reede : [shows his baseball glove] Look at what Dad got me.
Jerry : Wow, great. Hey, you know what, I have my glove in the car. Maybe we could stop at the park on the way home and play catch. Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it. It'll be great.
[to Fletcher]
Jerry : Hey, great gift, Dad.
Fletcher Reede : [sarcastically] Thanks, Son.
[to Audrey]
Fletcher Reede : I'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.
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Child at Party and School : My Mommy is a doctor.
Child at Party and School : My Dad is a truck driver.
Max Reede : My Mom's a teacher.