- Narrator: Ever wonder whatever happens to the pampered rich kids the liberal arts colleges turn out year after year?
- Dennis: Despite your obvious racial handicap, you are an American citizen now, OK, so act like one! We shit all over our families! And then we have kids who grow up to be as big of fuck-ups as we are.
- Jack: The bitch about getting older, you know, you don't fling yourself into love and friendships the way you did before you got hurt. That's a damn shame.
- Guy giving out graduation materials: Psychology major right? I love my mother, but not as much as you guys think I do.
- Mickey: I like you - the kind of like you where I get to see you naked. No more of this palsie walsie stuff.